hey baby!

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farseerlum

New member
so there you are. you and she.

she says lets go and you say.. um wait up i\'m married and have kids. i love my life what are you on crack or something?

face it it\'s an attractive proposition, you want the wild side. and you turn her down, for love and family.

:(


so no i\'m not actually happy i chose the \"right\" thing at all. i\'m really angry actually. every time i\'ve ever said no i\'ve died a little. it\';s not the right thing for a guy to do.

totally of my face. feel free to discuss your own similar dilemas.
 
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GreenOne

I paint my thumb.
I hope your wife is not reading the forums :rolleyes:

I don\'t think man is phisically and chimicaly design to turn down the offer. So you do it out of logic, think about consequences... It\'s the exect opposite of what your body and/or heart tells you.
Either you choose monogamy, and shut up a part of yourself, or you choose free love, which always bring harm to someone. Either ways your f**ed ( Or not f**ed for that matter.)
Tough shit.

I don\'t think it\'s easier for women tough...
 
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Helga

New member
choose the \"wrong\" thing today, you\'ll be hurting like hell tomorrow.
Not because getting caught, but because the naughty secrets you carry and cannot share.
 
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Ritual

New member
It\'s not all about logic chosing the \"right\" thing. Think about it... The \"wrong\" thing will last you what? An hour? An evening? Perhaps a couple of evenings at the most. What I get out of a long term relationship is something that takes time to build up. I\'ve been together with my girlfriend for six years and if I throw that away I will first have to find someone to build a new long term relationship with (not easy) and then be in that relationship for a number of years before I can experience something like that again. And, IMO, that experience goes deeper than the \"wrong\" thing would do. Well, that is still logic speaking, I guess...

You can have an infinite number of flings (not litterally, but you get the idea...), but you can only have one life-long relationship. And it\'s not just out of logic and the law of least resistance that I chose to try for a life-long relationship... I\'m simply damn curious to see how a relationship like that will turn out and therefore I will give it my best shot. This is not out of logic, but out of a drive to dig deeper and explore new ground.
 
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matty1001

New member
Laura once asked me a question very similar \"Would you ever have a one night stand, or cheat?\"

I answered no, I think its a bit pointless to lose a 3year relationship and a great frienship over an hour of playing about. Plus if I ever did, I would have a very guilty conscience.
 
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dauber22

New member
I say to hell with it! Next time go for it! I mean, you don\'t have anything better to do, right? Screwing up your life and flushing a long-term relationship down the toilet can be quite exciting. Getting tossed out of your house? Also quite exciting. Having explain all this to your kids? Mentally stimulating! So, I say ignore all these other namby-pambies with all their \"Logic\" and \"Sense\". It\'s your life anyways, isn\'t it. You\'ve got a right to f**k it up completely if you\'ve a mind to, don\'t you? Go for it!













ps - let me point out that I speak from experience here :(
 
airhead

airhead

Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
Originally posted by GreenOne
... It\'s the exect opposite of what your body and/or heart tells you...
Click to expand...
Your heart is not the part trying to do the thinking there.

God gave man two brains and only enough blood to work one at a time.

You did the right thing. When I first started to work in an office - before everyone was so PC and afraid of a sexual harassment suit - and older mentor told me never to go to lunch alone with a lady from the office. Take two or three along with you.
 
freakinacage

freakinacage

Well-known member
sod this, i\'d like the opportunity at least!!!




i\'d say no btw - i\'m a loyal and strong willed bastard when i get down to it
 
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lono

New member
I say go for it dude!

Mind you, I\'ve never had a relationship that lasted longer than a week, so I may not be the best person to take advice from here. I\'ve never exactly rushed to hop on the commitment bandwagon. But, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so why should you limit yourself to the one you know every scale and fin of when there is an intriguing new tropical one offering herself to you on a plate?

Nah, you probably did right, I just struggle to see the appeal of this long term relationship thing in the first place. Don\'t you just long for space away from them after a few days, let alone a few years?

I have no clue how my parents have stayed together for 30+ years, particularly with me causing them worry for most of them on top of everything else!
 
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Stu

New member
it\'s nice to feel attractive and desired, but it\'s not always so greta to live with the consequenses of going that stage further.

talk to your wife and close confidants about this feeling, reassure them that you don\'t want to take things further, but you don\'t know what it all means.

don\'t mess it up through not understanding yourself.
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
I need to give you some background before I say anything about this. I was born in the late \'50\'s and raised in California in the \'60\'s and \'70\'s. My parents, while religous, were liberals and raised me to be free. Essentially I\'m a hippie born 10 years too late.

When I got married to my husband (27.5 years ago) we made this part of our wedding vows (not in these word but the essence of it in flowery language) 3 rules....no babies with other people....no diseases....no crazy people showing up at our front door. Those rules go for everyone in our family including our 17 year old son. Anything else goes. Basicaly it\'s \"do what you will but hurt no one\". We have an open marriage.

All that being said (to my knowledge) neither of us have ever slept with anyone else. For me it\'s not that I haven\'t had the opertunity, it\'s that when you make love with someone (at least for a chick) part of your soul is left with that person. I don\'t want to spread myuself that thin.

For my hubby (according to him) it\'s that while women in general get him hot, all girls coem with baggage and he says he\'s got enough right now, and I\'m his best friend and he LIKES spending time with me.

The thing is, the grass is greener because you can\'t have it. If you could you might not be interested. You didn\'t do it for a reason. Maybe you should focuse on identifying what that is and if the reason really makes no sense maybe you need to talk to your wife and change the rules
 
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GreenOne

I paint my thumb.
Originally posted by airhead
Originally posted by GreenOne
... It\'s the exect opposite of what your body and/or heart tells you...
Click to expand...
Your heart is not the part trying to do the thinking there.
God gave man two brains and only enough blood to work one at a time.
Click to expand...

I disagree here, it may be more than physical, there may be love elsewhere than commitment, the rights and wrongs will probably depend on the situation. It\'s not necessarily wrong.
Sex on it\'s own is short lived and uselless, it\'s surely not worth trowing your \'life\' away. But love can happen anywhere, and having to restrain yourself from this experience can be heartbreaking.
Seriously if you often \'hate yourself\' for doing the \'right\' thing, maybe (MAYBE) you need to re-think your rights and wrongs.
 
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electrolito 77

New member
Well, I can give you the point of view form the other side, my wife (very, very soon to be ex) decided she could do what you didn\'t and expect no consequences... very wrong. She is in for some trouble now... so believe me after talking to her (after the fact) she does not think is was such a good idea after all... so, the point is, you did right, before you do anything stupid, just break it up, that\'s the best way to do it. Then again, everybody is different, so we all take it differently. My motto is, if you know the consecquences and they don\'t go very well in your favor, it probably is stupid. Pick your poison.
 
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GreenOne

I paint my thumb.
@ Electrolito77: You sure seem angry man.. I prescribe you an evening at the freak bar ;)
I \'kinda\' know the feeling, the only relationship I had decided to switch to my bestfriend, I\'ve been angry for a while, they stayed together 3 years, now they hate each other... we\'re still friends. Life goes on.

Of course breaking up before the fact seems like the honorable thing to do, but it cannot always happen that way, especially when alcohol is implied.
 
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electrolito 77

New member
@ Green One:

I am not angry at all... really. It is just funny actually, that people at the moment don\'t realize what they are about to do until it is too late, then sometime even try to justify it to make themselves feel better. In the end, karma takes care of it all. What you do here, you pay here and usually when it counts (ie when you think everything is better).

On another note the alcohol excuse is way played out. It is either rape or voluntary, not in between. I had plenty of chances to do it, but always chose not to, and I am proud of that fact.

As you said, life goes on and there is nothing you can do about it. Just keep on living!

I also have waaaaayyyyyyssss to go before I go get my ass in trouble at the freak bar lol so for now, a couple at home will do the trick:innocent:
 
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Onis Lair

New member
I thought of several things to say and tossed each aside instead of saying them. Bottom line you made the choice, live and deal with it. However personally if you think turning down a one night stand in order to stay faithful to your wife was a wrong choice. Sounds to me like you really don\'t need to be married. But then again, what would i know... other then i have been with my fiance for 7 years and known her for 10 years and could never see myself cheating on her no matter what who might offer me a one nighter.
 
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farseerlum

New member
wow you guys have some baggage!! lol kidding


this wasn\'t an ongoing thing it was then and only then it could happen. i\'m not angry over the choice i made. i\'m angry because i had to turn down a really, really omfg she\'s hot chic.

i know i made the right descision. i\'m happy to do it and i\'m sure i\'ll have to do it again later.
but my biological instincts are not amused.
 
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