Is money important?

[funnymouth]

i agree with most of what has been said here - money, the object, is relatively unimportant in itself, however, monetary issues are usually reflective of important personality issues - which ARE worth fighting over (if you must).

my wife and i are just \"starting out,\" so to speak, and the money is tight, and sometimes we fight because of it. typically the real reason we are fighting is because of the stress, doubt, and frustration with our financial situation (working hard and being broke) rather than some specific money issue.

i guess it could also be a legit issue if you are shallow...

 

[PegaZus]

I know my wife is very happy that I\'ve got such a handle on finances. Course, I\'m a bit anal . Right now, I have our potential checkbook balance calculated until April. Now, we\'re in a bit of an usual situation right now as we\'re paying two mortgages for two houses while one is up for sale. And so, we know to stay in the black in March, we need to keep from spending as much as we did the last few months.

So, how important is it? The money itself is unimportant. How it is handled is very important. Because I\'m so on top of things, and am able to show her exactly what the situation is, we have never had a fight about money. We agonize about it a lot, but no fights.

 

[mattrock]

Money problems are cited every year as the top reason for divorce according to major studies with some years reaching as high as 70% of responders claiming money problems as the root of their marriage break down. Sex, in-laws, and religion are all distant seconds and the handling of children would be listed shortly thereafter.

The point is, as much as we\'d like to say money isn\'t important in a relationship, studies seem to show that it may be the single most important factor to get straight as it is the most likely to destroy a marriage.

I\'m not a materialistic guy, but I take the numbers seriously.

 

[fieldarchy]

Originally posted by Evil Dave

Originally posted by fieldarchy
For the overall question, yes money is important. Whether or not it will break up a relationship depends.

I will say though that if you don\'t have a steady, decent source of income then I will not even think about dating you. Had too many bad experiences with it so it is a requirement that I date guys who have jobs or are self employed and can manage to pay their bills.

Also, if i know you have bill collectors after you . . . yeah that will be the end of that. Unless you have unusually hard circumstances and it can\'t be avoided (like insurance not covering a $350k surgery or something) staying on top of bills is not that difficult and it is very important. I make sure to pay my bills on time, I\'ve never defaulted or had one single collections call.

I\'d say this isn\'t an issue of money but a gauge on how responsible the person is.

I know if I were to become single, any woman I dated would have to have her own place, a job, etc. etc.

Yup Dave that\'s it but that also falls under the question of \"is money important\". Yes it\'s important because you need it to live and be a productive, contributing member of society.

Now, if you make a decent amount of money (say the same amount as I do . . . $36k) and you have bill collectors after you then that is a responsibility thing. However it\'s two fold, how you manage your own money while you are single tells me a lot about you and whether or not you are relationship worthy. I mean if you can\'t keep your own budget in line and pay your bills and not have bill collectors after you then there are a lot of red flags that go up that would affect a relationship.

The three main things that break up a relationship are sex, money and family. Trying to find someone who is sexually compatible and also have the same expectations for a family as I do is hard enough. Throw in the money aspect . . . it becomes even tougher.

Anyway, the question of whether or not money is important is a very broad question in my opinion. There are many different aspects of the importance of money in your life.

 

[squidders]

The irony is that a lot of the self made billionaires have, at one point or another, been bankrupt.

Donald Trump or Richard Branson for example... both have a few quid and yet neither seem to be able to stay out of bankruptcy court.

I would think that the ability to bounce back or deal with adversity would be much more attractive than someone who perhaps has had such a boring life that they\'ve never had a penny go missing.

I have a good level of earning and I very carefully p*ss it all away on a regular basis on \"stuff\" and holidays, minis, flowers for my girlfriend, random vehicles, going to gigs and all sorts of things.

The idea of waking up at 50+ years of age with a fully paid off house, 2.4 children, a 9-5 job and no happy memories has me waking up screaming in a cold sweat. Viva l\'aventure!

And regarding money and relationships, if you argue badly and constantly about anything you shouldn\'t bother with the relationship... the odd row is healthy though. but in the extreme, it only makes for 2 unhappy and bitter people.

Of course I could be full of crap but still... it\'s horses for courses innit.

 

[Torn blue sky]

Originally posted by squidders




I would think that the ability to bounce back or deal with adversity would be much more attractive than someone who perhaps has had such a boring life that they\'ve never had a penny go missing.

I have to agree...




You are full of crap lol
Nah seriously, i\'d love to be with someone who knows how to live. As long as they\'re responsible enough to realise where the line is then everything is cool!
I do my thing, but I always make sure bills are paid first and fore most... I do my thing too much recently lol Lost another weekend!

 

[PegaZus]

Originally posted by squidders
The idea of waking up at 50+ years of age with a fully paid off house, 2.4 children, a 9-5 job and no happy memories has me waking up screaming in a cold sweat. Viva l\'aventure!

Ah... but you missed something important there. Having those 2.4 children is an adventure unto itself!

During the course of our children\'s life, we will probably manage to take them on a \"vacation\" once. Probably to Walt Disney World. Everything else will be trips to see family at local vacation spots.

We get enough adventure just at the dinner table!

And I do realize that children+adventure wasn\'t really your point.

 

[Evil Dave]

Originally posted by squidders

I would think that the ability to bounce back or deal with adversity would be much more attractive than someone who perhaps has had such a boring life that they\'ve never had a penny go missing.

That depends on whether or not the adversity is self made or not.

IE: Someone who files for bankruptcy because life hit them hard with many things at once vs. Someone filing bankruptcy because they frivolously maxed out their credit cards and simply can\'t or won\'t pay them off

 

[squidders]

well the latter can be a nice way to have a good time and save a load of interest repayments lol

And while I appreciate that having children may be a challenge, I don\'t think it\'s an adventure... way too many people doing it

Though the practice is kinda fun.

 

[supervike]

Luckily, money has never been a bone of contention between me and my Mrs.

But, it is uber important. I wish it weren\'t but it is. Money buys freedom, security, health.

 

[Legacy Account]

My mrs and I earn similar amounts and always have done. All the bills are split down the middle 50/50. Joint bank accounts are bollocks - purely for bill money in our case.

Anything that\'s left is spent by the person who earned it, no questions asked. If I want a 300 quid lens, that\'s cool. If she wants to buy 10 pairs of shoes, that\'s also cool.

It\'s worked for 15 years - not one arguement over cash!

Here\'s hoping kids don\'t rear their whining heads.....

 

[Legacy Account]

Originally posted by supervike

Money buys freedom...

I\'d dispute that. I think it enslaves more people than it frees. It only frees you to buy into the rabid consumerism forced onto us by governments and corporations. Spend your money, become a cog in one huge economic machine...

 

[Evil Dave]

Originally posted by Spacemunkie

Originally posted by supervike

Money buys freedom...

I\'d dispute that. I think it enslaves more people than it frees. It only frees you to buy into the rabid consumerism forced onto us by governments and corporations. Spend your money, become a cog in one huge economic machine...

Well, yeah, because more people are tools that spend, getting deeper into debt than those that pay it off quickly.

IE: When you have a house, land, a dependable vehicle and all your debts are paid, and all you have is utilities, then you are pretty much as free as you will ever be. Don\'t like your job? Quit, you can pay utilities on minimum wage.

 

[fieldarchy]

Eh I\'m already a corporate cog anyway . . . I try not to fuel the economic machine but that\'s pretty much impossible since you have to spend a certain amount of money to live.

I think money does buy freedom and it can be a useful asset. Many people just don\'t know how to properly manage their money.

 

[supervike]

Originally posted by Spacemunkie

Originally posted by supervike

Money buys freedom...

I\'d dispute that. I think it enslaves more people than it frees. It only frees you to buy into the rabid consumerism forced onto us by governments and corporations. Spend your money, become a cog in one huge economic machine...

Yeah, thats a good point Scott.

I only meant it buys you freedom from working for \'the man\'...but you are right, it really enslaves more of us.

I am certainly a slave to it...to that weekly paycheck.

 

[treide]

Money is very important in a relationship, and important for life in general.

Let\'s face it, if you don\'t save money, you will never be able to retire. What happens when you hit 65 and you can\'t continue to work in your profession or you get laid off and you have no savings? You either live off government handouts (not how I want to spend my \"golden years\"), or your kids have to support you. No thanks.

I recall recently hearing a statistic that in the US, there has never been less saving among the general population than now.

 

[fieldarchy]

And that is why I\'m happy I started my 401k at 22. It should be nice and fat once I get to retirement age

Saving does seem to be a problem these days as no one does it. You gotta keep yourself on a tight budget for sure!

 

[Legacy Account]

Originally posted by Evil Dave

Well, yeah, because more people are tools that spend, getting deeper into debt than those that pay it off quickly.

IE: When you have a house, land, a dependable vehicle and all your debts are paid, and all you have is utilities, then you are pretty much as free as you will ever be. Don\'t like your job? Quit, you can pay utilities on minimum wage.

Firstly, why do people get into debt? Why are more people in debt now than there have ever been? Big business creaming people (those who can\'t afford it obviously!) who are buying into a lifestyle that is rammed down their throat 24 hours a day.

As for that second statement, well that\'s just pissing into the wind for the vast majority of people. It\'s almost impossible for the average university graduate to afford to buy even a small property over here at the moment.

My sister just bought a poxy 2 bedroomed terrace. $250000. $1700 a month mortgage. Try paying that off quickly!!

 

[fieldarchy]

Honestly I wouldn\'t be worried about paying off a mortgage fast, it\'s the BAD lines of credit I am worried about getting paid off. My credit card is at a 0 balance leaving me with only my car as my BAD line of credit. Otherwise I have student loans and a house. That\'s it and I\'m 23. My debt is manageable . . . it\'s when you start living beyond your means that it becomes a problem.

 

[wiccanpony]

Originally posted by Evil Dave

Originally posted by Spacemunkie

Originally posted by supervike

Money buys freedom...

I\'d dispute that. I think it enslaves more people than it frees. It only frees you to buy into the rabid consumerism forced onto us by governments and corporations. Spend your money, become a cog in one huge economic machine...

Well, yeah, because more people are tools that spend, getting deeper into debt than those that pay it off quickly.

IE: When you have a house, land, a dependable vehicle and all your debts are paid, and all you have is utilities, then you are pretty much as free as you will ever be. Don\'t like your job? Quit, you can pay utilities on minimum wage.

:beer: I Thank my parents for buying the house back in the 50’s......a whopping $1400 at the time with a GI loan to help......now many years later it is paid off and worth on paper a half a milllion.

When my parents passed, the house when to us sisters and because I was living there before my parents passed and I’m disabled all the taxes insurance etc. stayed the same. Whoot!!! no debts, car paid for, now we sit down every year and decide what repairs need to be taken care of, so far replacing a few windows and work on the electrical box is top of the list.