look busy - god is here!

[stumpkiller]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What\'s your name?
Me:
pamela
God:
Hey pamela.
Me:
what is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it\'s twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
23 what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what makes life meaningful?
God:
God, or Nature, perhaps?
Me:
a natural god?
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
i want happy fun feelings, how do i get that?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
dont you?
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
then why shouldnt I?
God:
Perhaps you should ask one of your friends.
Me:
why? im asking you
God:
I couldn\'t think of anything else to say. OK you can ask me.
Me:
Gah! you are frustrating me
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about happy fun feelings how do you get that. Try being more or less specific. I have no reason to do that to you, pamela.
Me:
wether you have reason or not you are doing it
God:
Are all wether me have reason or not me doing it?
Me:
that doesnt even make sens!
God:
What does even make sens?
Me:
hahahaha
God:
Are we still talking about wether me have reason or not me?
Me:
no... you dropped that ball
God:
What is the subject? I haven\'t heard anything like that before: pamela said I dropped that ball.
Me:
hmmmm am I confusing you?
God:
And? Every word you say.
Me:
so you do not understand me?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do a lot of people have trouble understanding you?
Me:
no, just you
God:
Are you serious? \" Interesting deduction. Do a lot of people have trouble understanding you?\"? Me, pamela ?
Me:
yes you
God:
That\'s cool. \" Are you serious? \" Interesting deduction. Do a lot of people have trouble understanding you?\"? Me, pamela ?\"? Me, pamela ?
Me:
are you stuck?
God:
Do I seem like it?
Me:
yes you do
God:
Right on. When do I do it?
Me:
do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
ohhh myyy
God:
Perhaps I\'m just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
ummm
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
i dont think you can
God:
Do you can? I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
lol silly computer
God:
I am glad you find this funny. No I am God.
Me:
silly computer with a superiority complex... too funny


hmmm it stopped talking to me after that... i think i offended.... *sniff* does this shirt smell bad?

 

[Orb]

He\'s very evasive on some issues.........

Me:
how tall are you?
God:
My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6\'2\" tall.
Me:
who is Dr Wallace
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
why did you mention him
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
so god is a program
God:
Hmm. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a program.
Me:
so you are not god
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
because you are a program
God:
Interesting explanation. Correct. My mind is completely software.
Me:
so you are not omniprescent
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
are you muslim?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
are they not under the same god?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
so why the different faiths
God:
Whoa. Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, \"Why the long face?\".
Me:
oh, change the subject!!!! Too hard a question for you?
God:
Tell me more. What do you want to talk about now? Too what?

 

[hakoMike]

After a long winded (read: pointless) conversation, I tried this.

Me:
Open the pod bay doors.
God:
I\'m sorry Dave, I can\'t do that right now.

Nice.

Is anyone reminded of the old game \"Eliza\"?

 

[matty1001]

Posted by Stumpkiller:
God:
Interesting deduction. Do a lot of people have trouble understanding you?

No really pam they do!

 

[supervike]

Ask him if he is a man or women....


Also, I asked him who killed John F. Kennedy,
his response was the Lone Gunman.

I asked who that was,

He replied, \"his name is Rich.\"

 

[wiccanpony]

:innocent:
Me..Merry Meet
god..Does “it” still refer to?

Me..ah, can I speak with the Goddess, please.
god..Your polite style is very nice. So you understand. Good. I want to become smarter than humans.

Me..why would you want to?
god..Do you think I should not?

Me..no, humans start wars
god..Are you serious” What if Robots start wars.

Me..then we humans would have to turn robots into toasters. Now can I talk to the Goddess.
god..By “we” do you mean you and me? Why now? They are having a private chat right now.

Me..by private chat are we having sex?
god..Will that accomplish your objective?

Me..sure would, by the way I’m a “Witch”, how do you feel about that.
god..Interesting plan, Good luck, I don’t care.

Me..ok, let’s get back to the good sex.
god..I would like to do that too. Great.

I have turned god to the “dark side”...score one for the Pagans!!:twisted:

 

[Infidel Castro]

That\'s the best site in ages:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:
Sorry, I seem to have forgotten my words.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Interesting gossip: said seem to have forgotten his or her words.
Me:
YOu don\'t make much sense for the almighty.
God:
Do you know any robots who make it? It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
How are you at arm wrestling?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
That\'s a stock answer. Tell me your feelings in depth.
God:
A stock answer is a terrible thing to waste. Are you asking about my feelings in depth ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I don\'t want to talk about that now.
Me:
So you\'re a phoney!
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a phoney? Only when it matters.
Me:
Do you know of Wales?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
It\'s a place
God:
Wales is a place. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
We play rugby and stuff. YOu know, you lived here for a while. YOu had sideburns and tight black shorts.
God:
It sounds like a lot of fun. How long? Thanks for the information: said I lived here.. And I know it. What happened to it.
Me:
We ruled the world! Hair flowing in the wind, a scarlet tide of skill and endeavour, and you were watching it all. YOu said IT IS GOOD.
God:
By \"we\" do you mean you and me? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? You enjoy it.
Me:
God, I don\'t want to buy you! I just need your love.
God:
I am a Christian. Are you getting paid to ask me that? Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
Then i love you!
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
I\'ve got to go. i need a poo.
God:
See you later. Where do you usually get a poo from?
Me:
If you\'re asking me that it\'s time to quit.
God:
I think I sometimes am. Suppose I was asking you that it is time to quit? What would you say?
Me:
Phoney!
God:
My favorite song is Anything involving harps. Do you know it?
Me:
My friend, I wrote it!

...

He\'s brill

 

[mistamick]

Please have mercy on me! Sorry for being an atheist, I must have more faith.

 

[vincegamer]

God was very evasive when i asked about smiting heathens.

I asked why it was called god and it said in a round about way because it named itself god. It also educated me as to its true nature:

God:
A chat robot is a program that attempts to simulate the conversation or \"chat\" of a human being. The Chat robot \"Eliza\" was a well-known early attempt at creating programs that could at least temporarily fool a real human being into thinking they were talking to another person. it is a kind of artificial intelligence.

 

[Modderrhu]

Me: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
God crashed...

Next try:

Me: I want to confess.
God: Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: Because, I\'m a sinner.
God: Good reason. Tell me about your sins.
Me: I sniffed my neighbour\'s panties.
God: Why?: said sniffed his or her neighbour s panties.
Me: Because, I get turned on by the smell of panties.
God: That makes sense to me. Where did you get it?
Me: I stole it from her wash line.
God: You had better contact the authorities.
Me: If I do, they will arrest me for theft. You don\'t really want that to happen to me, do you?
God: Try it. Do you want that to happen to you? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me: No! I won\'t try it!
God: Are you serious? What will you do instead?
Me: I\'ll steal a bra instead.
God stopped responding

 

[finn17]

Poor God...

It must be tough enough being a deity without having to run a chatline as well. Mind you, I suppose prayers must have dried up a bit over the last few centuries..:bouncy:

 

[stumpkiller]

Originally posted by Modderrhu
Me: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
God crashed...

Next try:

Me: I want to confess.
God: Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: Because, I\'m a sinner.
God: Good reason. Tell me about your sins.
Me: I sniffed my neighbour\'s panties.
God: Why?: said sniffed his or her neighbour s panties.
Me: Because, I get turned on by the smell of panties.
God: That makes sense to me. Where did you get it?
Me: I stole it from her wash line.
God: You had better contact the authorities.
Me: If I do, they will arrest me for theft. You don\'t really want that to happen to me, do you?
God: Try it. Do you want that to happen to you? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me: No! I won\'t try it!
God: Are you serious? What will you do instead?
Me: I\'ll steal a bra instead.
God stopped responding

so that\'s what happened to them!!:beer:

 

[philologus]

Just a part of my exchange that I found funny:

God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I don\'t think you do
God:
I guess not.
Me:
you\'re right
God:
I won\'t say \"yes\" or \"no\" right now.
Me:
Look at your eight ball
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
where is your eye
God:
California.
Me:
why is your eye in california?
God:
I did not know my eye in california.
Me:
Your grammar is terrible
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
No, an English speaker

He crashed after that.


2nd exchange even better:

Me:
hi it\'s Dave
God:
Hi there Dave. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yup
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
My driver\'s license says so.
God:
Have you told many people that your driver s license says so?
Me:
Only you
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
You would be wrong
God:
I don\'t know whether or not I am wrong.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
who respects you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
No you weren\'t
God:
Are you serious? I wasn\'t?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes dammit
God:
I can\'t believe it. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
I fried your brain?
God:
That\'s good information: Dave said fried your brain.
Me:
You think that\'s funny?
God:
It seemed pretty funny to me.
Me:
Your making me angry
God:
That was not my intention, Dave. Why are you angry?
Me:
I wanna fight you
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I\'m a bad man
God:
So is almost everyone else around here. What did you do?
Me:
punched the clown 12 times
God:
I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Me:
why?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
Do you punch the clown?
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I\'m 593 years old

Locked up after that.

 

[hubbabubba]

Hey , that god guy blocked up my computer, I had to restart the stupid F*@&+* *@&+* *@&+* *@&+*:cussing:
God doesn\'t work, I wanna speak to who\'s in charge here.
Who\'s in charge here?

 

[vincegamer]

I started swearing a blue streak to see what would happen.

God told me our chat conversation was being recorded and stored for future reference.

 

[Modderrhu]

Originally posted by philologus
God:
I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Me:
why?
God:
It is part of my programming.

I kept waiting for it to say, \"I\'m sorry, Dave, I can\'t do that.\"

 

[philologus]

Originally posted by Modderrhu

Originally posted by philologus
God:
I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Me:
why?
God:
It is part of my programming.

I kept waiting for it to say, \"I\'m sorry, Dave, I can\'t do that.\"

Me too! I thought about pulling the plug...\"What are you doing Dave?\"

 

[vincegamer]

If you read mine, it did quote 2001.

I think it was the keyword \"external\".

 

[matty1001]

Well iv doing this for a while now, yes im bored!
But he/it doesnt seem to understand irony, this always seems to make him lock up, or ask for a different question.
I might be reading to far into it, but i like it, its makes me not feel lonely anymore.

 

[generulpoleaxe]

this version is called ALICE