men

leopardpixie

New member
i saw a women thread one but no men? thats not fair @ all.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They\'re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don\'t work.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys watching a football game.
What do men and mascara have in common?
They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

Why did God create man before woman?
Because you\'re always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.


lol ok there are my 2 cents for now :p
 

darklord

New member
why did god invent men?
because vibrators cant get a round of drinks in!

but for balance:
why did god invent women?
because sheep cant cook
 

leopardpixie

New member
Originally posted by EldinTux
OMG it had to happen, wait \'til Liz & Donna get on here!!!!:no::no::no::no::no::no:
Yep, I\'m ALL for that lol
Originally posted by Dragonsreach
Originally posted by leopardpixie
:D
Is it a Bird ?
Is it a Plane ?
No it\'s leopardpixie
Long time no see.
What\'s new?
Any more steel? ;)
just busy. very very busy. Hope ya didnt miss me to much. I\'ll be lurking when i get a chance, with all the sudying i\'m doing, my cmon fix will be what gets me going in the mornings o_O
Originally posted by KingM
Awwww, I\'m sure you don\'t mean all that LP x
:D
lol awwwww its all in good fun sweetie, miss me? :p
 

supervike

Super Moderator
Men jokes aren\'t funny, unless they include some sort of contact to the groin area, usually painful.

Nice to see you LP!
 

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
;)
Top ten things NOT to say in Victoria’s Secrets

-The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!

-No Thanks. Just snifffing.

-I’ll be in the dressing room going blind.

-Mom will love this.

-Do you have this with a Dallas Cowboy Logo on it.

-No need to wrap it up, I’ll eat it here.

-Will you model this for me???

-Oh honey, you’ll never squeeze your fat ass into that

-45 bucks?? You’re gonna end up NAKED anyways!!
 

Dragonsreach

Super Moderator
Staff member
Originally posted by wiccanpony
;)
Top ten things NOT to say in Victoria’s Secrets

-The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!

-No Thanks. Just snifffing.

-I’ll be in the dressing room going blind.

-Mom will love this.

-Do you have this with a Dallas Cowboy Logo on it.

-No need to wrap it up, I’ll eat it here.

-Will you model this for me???

-Oh honey, you’ll never squeeze your fat ass into that

-45 bucks?? You’re gonna end up NAKED anyways!!

You missed:- Monica asks \"Will the stains come out?\"
 

Shawn R. L.

New member
Originally posted by wiccanpony
;)
Top ten things NOT to say in Victoria’s Secrets

-The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!

-No Thanks. Just snifffing.

-I’ll be in the dressing room going blind.

-Mom will love this.

-Do you have this with a Dallas Cowboy Logo on it.

-No need to wrap it up, I’ll eat it here.

-Will you model this for me???

-Oh honey, you’ll never squeeze your fat ass into that

-45 bucks?? You’re gonna end up NAKED anyways!!


HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Printed on a T shirt - I may not be smart but I can lift heavy objects.
 

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
Originally posted by EldinTux
So far so good - this is all relatively tame. Perhaps there aren\'t any good men jokes out there :p

:twisted::p
What Not To Say To A Naked Guy

1. I\'ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it\'s cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don\'t we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It\'s more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there\'s a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4\'\' bigger.
13. It\'s ok, we\'ll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there\'s an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it\'ll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn\'t know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won\'t take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. ####, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don\'t we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn\'t know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it\'s hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I\'ll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It\'s a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you\'re supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where\'s the rest of it?
 

lizcam

New member
Um.......not much to add there. I think she covered it all. (didn\'t take much, obviously! :twisted: )
 

leopardpixie

New member
Originally posted by lizcam
Um.......not much to add there. I think she covered it all. (didn\'t take much, obviously! :twisted: )
lol heres one my friends love to do .. (moaning) o god.. yes.. yes.. yes...no.. no..no... is it... maybe, wait, could it be?
61. is it in yet :twisted:
 

Avelorn

Sven Jonsson
lol Donna those were great and so mean!

Funny part you never say to a girl \"wow! you could fit the entire Chicago Packers in there\" or \"did you give birth to something recently?\" That\'s because we men are polite and nice! :innocent:
 

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
Originally posted by Avelorn
lol Donna those were great and so mean!

Funny part you never say to a girl \"wow! you could fit the entire Chicago Packers in there\" or \"did you give birth to something recently?\" That\'s because we men are polite and nice! :innocent:

:rolleyes: and I bet you have a bridge for sale;):p
 

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
Originally posted by evil tendencies
You guys might be joking, but I\'ll tell you - marriage is sooo much easier if you remember that you\'re labor, and she\'s management. :D

:D good boy, here have a cookie:p
 
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