Something to think on.

M

mud duck

New member
Here\'s the situtation.

You\'ve just let the dog out in the backyard. Say two minutes latter you hear him growling and making all sorts of noise. Looking out the window you see the classic disk shaped UFO parked in the rose bushes and three \"Greys\" advancing on your dog. Two are holding objects in their right hands, and one has something in both hands.

What do you do?
 
S

ScottRadom

Shogun of Saskatchewan
What to do, what to do.....

UFO is on my lawn, right? That makes them trespassers and NOBODY pulls that on good ole Ma Radom\'s boy! I go in crazy berserk Wolverine style, I work on the biggest one that\'s only holding something in it\'s right hand first. Unless they\'re bigger than about 7ft 2in I should be able to drop him with a solar plexus flurry, call it maybe 1 to 1.5 seconds.

By the time this happens the one holding something in both his hands will drop his package. I don\'t know if he\'s gonna try to run for it or fight it out. Before it hits the ground I\'m gonna run, slide on my back to underneath his legs and catch the package in my chest.

\"You dropped something.\" Then I kip up and drive the package into his chest, slamming whatever important organs are inside his torso out his back. \"You should be more careful with your belongings sir, there\'s some strange beings around with no respect for property law.\" I\'ll say in gruff, measured tones.

By this time about 2 to 2.5 seconds have elapsed. The third alien is ALWAYS the sneakiest. I\'m sure by this time he\'ll be holding my dog by the throat pointing the object in his right hand at my dogs head.

\"Qwort, Qwort right now Mutha Fujja!\" It\'ll yell in it\'s high pitched squeaky voice.

\"Go ahead. We call them bitches for a reason.\" I\'ll say. My dog will whimper at the hurt my statement causes.

\"I mean it man! If you don\'t qwort right now I\'m gonna, I\'m gonna...... I\'ll do it man!\". The whiny voice will REALLY be getting to me by now.

\"Let me ask you somethin\'. Did you drive all this way just to hide behind some animal? Or do you make the trip to see how hard you really are?\"

\"I don\'t need this gun, I don\'t need ANYTHING to take you on! M\'kbla\'gh!!!!!\". That\'s the last mistake this critter will make. I think I\'ll finish this one off with a severe straight arm chop to it\'s neck. With my timing and upper body strength it\'s very likely that it\'ll be decapitated.

Then I\'ll wander over to my dog. It\'ll have it\'s tail between it\'s legs, not quite making eye contact with me. Can a dog cry?

\"Sorry girl, they were just words.\" I\'ll say as I scratch under her chin. \"You know I love you, and I\'d never let any bastard harm you.\"

\"Ruff!\" The spring wil be back in her step, and all will be forgiven.

\"Now go ahead and bury those with the others girl. Yes you can keep the leg bones on these ones too.\" She\'ll run off excitedly to dig new holes near where the rest of the alien, demon, and time travelling trespassers bodies go.

\"I\'m off to make a call to General Strayhan over at the super secret army base. Looks like we got another thwarted alien invasion over here, and that means a case of beer on the government dime!\"

\"RUFF!\"


Ask a simple question, get a simple answer.
 
BarstoolProphet

BarstoolProphet

New member
Originally posted by ScottRadom
What to do, what to do.....

UFO is on my lawn, right? That makes them trespassers and NOBODY pulls that on good ole Ma Radom\'s boy! I go in crazy berserk Wolverine style, I work on the biggest one that\'s only holding something in it\'s right hand first. Unless they\'re bigger than about 7ft 2in I should be able to drop him with a solar plexus flurry, call it maybe 1 to 1.5 seconds.

By the time this happens the one holding something in both his hands will drop his package. I don\'t know if he\'s gonna try to run for it or fight it out. Before it hits the ground I\'m gonna run, slide on my back to underneath his legs and catch the package in my chest.

\"You dropped something.\" Then I kip up and drive the package into his chest, slamming whatever important organs are inside his torso out his back. \"You should be more careful with your belongings sir, there\'s some strange beings around with no respect for property law.\" I\'ll say in gruff, measured tones.

By this time about 2 to 2.5 seconds have elapsed. The third alien is ALWAYS the sneakiest. I\'m sure by this time he\'ll be holding my dog by the throat pointing the object in his right hand at my dogs head.

\"Qwort, Qwort right now Mutha Fujja!\" It\'ll yell in it\'s high pitched squeaky voice.

\"Go ahead. We call them bitches for a reason.\" I\'ll say. My dog will whimper at the hurt my statement causes.

\"I mean it man! If you don\'t qwort right now I\'m gonna, I\'m gonna...... I\'ll do it man!\". The whiny voice will REALLY be getting to me by now.

\"Let me ask you somethin\'. Did you drive all this way just to hide behind some animal? Or do you make the trip to see how hard you really are?\"

\"I don\'t need this gun, I don\'t need ANYTHING to take you on! M\'kbla\'gh!!!!!\". That\'s the last mistake this critter will make. I think I\'ll finish this one off with a severe straight arm chop to it\'s neck. With my timing and upper body strength it\'s very likely that it\'ll be decapitated.

Then I\'ll wander over to my dog. It\'ll have it\'s tail between it\'s legs, not quite making eye contact with me. Can a dog cry?

\"Sorry girl, they were just words.\" I\'ll say as I scratch under her chin. \"You know I love you, and I\'d never let any bastard harm you.\"

\"Ruff!\" The spring wil be back in her step, and all will be forgiven.

\"Now go ahead and bury those with the others girl. Yes you can keep the leg bones on these ones too.\" She\'ll run off excitedly to dig new holes near where the rest of the alien, demon, and time travelling trespassers bodies go.

\"I\'m off to make a call to General Strayhan over at the super secret army base. Looks like we got another thwarted alien invasion over here, and that means a case of beer on the government dime!\"

\"RUFF!\"


Ask a simple question, get a simple answer.
Click to expand...

You, sir, are clearly full of it. This is not a proper Canadian response, at all.
Particularly, it isn\'t remotely Saskatchewanian.
In Saskatoon, when the aliens land, they don\'t fight with them. They invite them to be clowns in the next rodeo, circus, or whichever event is coming soonest.
If they seem reluctant, you ply them with good, old-fashioned beer. Canadian is usually the beer of choice, I hear, though I\'ve also heard that they like Wiser\'s Rye.
Then you have a grand old time teaching them how to ride horses, motocross, or skidoo\'s (depending on your preference) until the event arrives.

Here in Toronto, we\'d just ignore them, same as everyone else. Especially if we encountered them on the public transit system.
 
S

ScottRadom

Shogun of Saskatchewan
Prophet: Your reply was retarded and insulting. Wiser\'s Rye is for Newfie\'s and other sub-humans. We drink Crown Royal!

Dumb-ass. But you\'re likely not too far off on the rest of it.
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
I\'d try and figure out what movie company was filming in my back yard so I could sue them for not signing the normal contracts they have to sign when they use someone\'s house as a set. Then I\'d make them pay to fully re-decorate the place like they have to do when their done.


Then I\'d give the dog back to the neighbor.
 
S

ScottRadom

Shogun of Saskatchewan
Originally posted by freakinacage
we have to ask though.
WHY?
Click to expand...

I thought the question was self explanatory. Clearly someone is pooling opinion\'s on what to do if 3 alien land in Minnesota. Now that Jesse \"the Body\" Ventura is out of office I think extra terrestrials have sort of declared Minnesota as a \"free-for-all land of opportunity\".

Jeeziz. Some people just need EVERYTHING explained to them.
 
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