Stupid things, Chapter 2

[Ovus The Peon]

So, I recently purchased Vallejo\'s Game Colors line and today I cracked open the Brassy Brass to touch up some Kobold swords. After all, what Kobold can afford a polished gold hilt on his sword? Or even a Glorious Gold hilt? No Kobold I\'m painting, that\'s for sure.

I tipped the bottle up, squeezed lightly, but no paint. Now, I know there\'s paint in there, cause I can here it sloshing around when I shake.

Probably, some of you have already figured out how this ends stupidly.

So, I ask you, if you squeeze a little and nothing comes out....and your a seasoned weightlifter, mind you...then what are you to do? That\'s right. Squeeze harder. You can lift a York Blob 2\" off the ground, by golly, and no little bottle of paint is going to whip you.

So the dropper tip of the vallejo paint bottle rocketed off the bottle, NASA-like, towards the ceiling. Leaving a contrail of brassy brass in its wake, which slopped in the the popcorn, vaulted ceiling and made high velocity spatter marks all over the walls.

The dropper tip ricocheted to...well, God nows where it rococheted to. I havn\'t found it yet, and He\'s not talking. In point of fact, the dropper could be embedded in the ceiling still. There\'s a big splotch of brassy brass emblazoned on my vaulted, popcorn ceiling and apparently high velocity vallejo spatter dries on contact, because no amount of scrubbing seems to remove it from the wall.

So the whole thing looks like some sort of Brass Golem murder scene. Permanently.

And in the end, a large dollop of paint descended down smack onto my palette. \"Now I\'ve got it!\" I yelled, dipped my brush in, and put paint to mini. As I write this, I can see I\'ve stepped in some and tracked it around...you know, getting down to Brass Tracks.

So it looks like I\'ll be doing some less creative painting later tonight. And possibly some stripping and waxing (of the floor).

 

[frenchkid]

lol
You just lightened up my day, nicly written too. Maybe one day will be able to publish a cmon book:
\"The dangerous art of mini painting\"
We already have the injury thread plus this one and I\'m sure we can find a couple more.

 

[Tuubje]

great to read

 

[Nelson]

Ohhhhh, shitty, I\'ve had things like that happen to me before. Such as distractedly opening a bottle of boltgun metal while watching t.v, and not realizing the bottle was horizontal. End result: Huuuuuge smears of silver all over my leg, my shorts, my shirt, my shoes, and slop-over on my hands (not to mention the fact one of my meticulously painted minis was covered in it)
*devastated, inarticulate swearing* *sobbing* *sound of frantic dash to washing machine*

Evil freakin\' paint: 1- Me: 0

 

[finn17]

Confession time...

The other day I happened to be in my local model shop and out of curiosity bought one of the new GW bottles with the flip top lid.

Throughout the rest of the afternoon I occasionally fished the bottle out of my pocket and gave it a good shake intending to, at least try it in a piece of scrap plastic, when I got home..

Later on that evening I remembered my bottle and retrieved it from my coat pocket. As is my habit, I unscrewed the lid and dropped a piece of model trimming in the bottle to aid mixing. I then gave it another good shake.

Now the thing is, with the old GW jars you need to use two hands, one to hold the jar and one to unscrew the lid. The new GW design seems to suggest that opening the jar might be a one-handed operation...just flip the lid with your thumb.

I flipped the lid with my thumb, fumbled the jar and the whole \'kit and kaboodle\' somersaulted off accross the room trailing GW\'s \'Graveyard Earth\' as it went.

Needless to say my first foray into GW\'s new technology will also be my last and despite the difficulties encountered by Mr Peon, I will be sticking with Vallejo

 

[Calavera]

Holy !

Well, your story was shocking Ovus

Well, about 10 months ago i was a newbie Painting my Tau which i have sold now with Vermin Brown, fa-la-la. Dip the brush in.. put the lid on, then quickly
turning around in my chair to see some footy match and whoopsy-doo. A big bottle of brown goo went over my table, on the \"of-no-use-pc\" on beneath the table and on the floor... luckily this was our new house and we hadn\'t put the floors in yet Mom would\'ve banned me from mini-painting for life if the parket(right word ???) Would\'ve been on the floor... my pants were not my best and would\'ve gone to the trash 2 weeks from that time So i was a bit lucky.. but now i have a beautiful ornamental no-usage-whatsoever pc smeared with brown goo beneath my table.

 

[U4-Welcome]

I flipped the lid with my thumb, fumbled the jar

Um, Finn, let me get this straight : you opened the pot, then shook it ?

 

[tooshy]

It\'s a goddam conspiracy I tell ya....

Police Report: GW paint vs Unsuspecting Model painter
Scene of Incident: The Den...
Date: 6th September 2003

Victim\'s Statement: Er...I had started to paint my new Elf mini from Spyglass and was just starting on her trousers. I\'d decided on a nice brown as the base coat <cough> so I picked up a pot of GW Snakebite leather (the defendant). I opened the pot and realised that I hadn\'t given it a good shake, so I snapped the lid back and proceeed to shake the hell out of it..... That\'s when it happened <nervous twitch> - the lid couldn\'t have been back on properly, even though I did hear the usual \'snap\' when I pressed it down. It went everywhere: desk, clothes, cat (don\'t ask), in fact everywhere except the bloody model or my paint pallet...

Response from the defendant: \"Yeah I did it!! She deserved it too - what did she expect?? Did she think us GW paints would just sit back and watch as she used the new [/i]favourite[/i] Vall...Vaj oh whatever the hell they are called. I don\'t regret a thing and I\'d do it again - you can\'t stop us I tell you. We were here first and we\'ll be here forever....FOREVER!!! muuwaaaahhh

 

[finn17]

Not quite that stupid....

Originally posted by U4-Welcome

I flipped the lid with my thumb, fumbled the jar

Um, Finn, let me get this straight : you opened the pot, then shook it ?

The jar was shaken to buggery and back again...I just held the jar in my right hand, put my right thumbnail under the lid and ...flipped. Splat.....!

I can\'t be the only person to have done this...can I?....please God...?

 

[Tuubje]

Originally posted by finn17
I can\'t be the only person to have done this...can I?....please God...?

This is God on Tuubjes account:

Yes, you are the only person who did this lol

Oh my look at my number of posts, weird...

 

[Otter]

Then there\'s the time where I somehow didn\'t notice when I swiped an open bottle of Chaos Black (HAD to be black!) off the table with my elbow.

The stain went down the white wall, over the white floorboards, and onto the cream carpet.

We have one of those rotary carpet scrubbers, so once I started cleaning, gray foam started bubbling up and running crazily across the room leaving vapor trails across the carpet.

The only saving grace was that the landlord had already told us that we could rip up the carpet and paint before the \"incident\".

EDIT - Was just rereading Tooshy\'s post and remembered my favorite painting incident of all time. I was on a ladder holding one of those tiny quart cans to do some trimwork when my dog wandered in. I guess my hand was tired, as the can slipped and hit bottom-side down on the floor. The paint then splashed straight up in the air and came down on me and the dog. The dog is scared to death and can\'t see because of the paint, followed by the scene of me shedding my paint-soaked clothes on the dropcloth and frantically chasing my dog around the apartment in my skivvies. My brother-in-law finally corners the dog and hoses us both down outside (since my sister was laughing too hard to stand up lol ).

- Otter
\"Never send a ferret to do a weasel\'s work.\"

 

[finn17]

Well, looking at your (current) avatar...

Originally posted by Tuubje

Originally posted by finn17
I can\'t be the only person to have done this...can I?....please God...?

This is God on Tuubjes account:

Yes, you are the only person who did this lol

Oh my look at my number of posts, weird...

It\'s clearly something to do with the \'number of the breast\'

 

[wightzombie]

There\'s a big splotch of brassy brass emblazoned on my vaulted, popcorn ceiling and apparently high velocity vallejo spatter dries on contact, because no amount of scrubbing seems to remove it from the wall.

its cottage cheese ceiling dangit! dont you just love it!? our relatives from the east visited and they loved it and also it has little flecks of glitter in it so it looks like a wierd sky. totally freaky and hard to paint when the time comes although you seemed to have found a way through that

for painting adventures i have knocked a entire bottle of GW black wash on the floor since i paint lying on the floor and for cieling adventures when i was a kid i had a frankenstien goo set and at one time i launched a giant blob of the clearish franken goo at the cieling and some of it never came off. needless to say in the future friends were disgusted and girfriends were impressed. or was it the other way around ???

 

[No Such Agency]

time i launched a giant blob of the clearish franken goo at the cieling and some of it never came off. needless to say in the future friends were disgusted and girfriends were impressed.

I *beg* that you are not implying what I think you\'re implying.

I constantly tempt fate by doing things like sitting down to paint in a nice new pair of khakis, \"it\'s just for a sec or I\'d change\". One day I\'ll lose a pair of pants that way, and only have myself to blame. Because no stain remover in the universe can get acrylic paint out of fabric. I actually painted over a black paint mark on blue jeans with Space Wolf Grey once, to hide it. Stain stick did nothing.

 

[wyrmling_x]

Ok, my turn...

Well, one fateful afternoon last week, I got home from work eagerly anticipating a session of painting. Unfortunately, some other, \"more important\" things came up, so I was delayed until late that night.

Thinking it would be perfectly OK to paint late at night, even though I get up so blasted early in the morning, I began. About to prime a mini with Chaos Black, I noticed a piece of flash still present. So, I grab my knife and have at it.

As I reach for the knife, though, I manage to spill the black, which caused me to react quite stupidly - I tried to catch it. Of course, things went from bad to worse when, instead of catching the pot I managed to stab my hand with the knife (ever so slightly, but enough). The chain of reactions continued as I jerked my hand back in pain, sending the poor mini hurtling into the air and smashing on the floor (poor, poor Chaos lord... ).

I put the knife down and reach for the broken mini, and in doing so rested my other, bloodied hand in the puddle of Chaos Black (as yet un-righted). Startled by the cool, slimy feel of paint on my cut, I quickly raise my head...directly into the bottom of the table.

After hastily washing and bandaging (and righting the paint pot) I made a swift dash for bed. The moral? Never paint when too tired to focus your mind and your eyes!

 

[wightzombie]

Originally posted by Otter
Then there\'s the time where I somehow didn\'t notice when I swiped an open bottle of Chaos Black (HAD to be black!) off the table with my elbow.

The stain went down the white wall, over the white floorboards, and onto the cream carpet.

We have one of those rotary carpet scrubbers, so once I started cleaning, gray foam started bubbling up and running crazily across the room leaving vapor trails across the carpet.

The only saving grace was that the landlord had already told us that we could rip up the carpet and paint before the \"incident\".

EDIT - Was just rereading Tooshy\'s post and remembered my favorite painting incident of all time. I was on a ladder holding one of those tiny quart cans to do some trimwork when my dog wandered in. I guess my hand was tired, as the can slipped and hit bottom-side down on the floor. The paint then splashed straight up in the air and came down on me and the dog. The dog is scared to death and can\'t see because of the paint, followed by the scene of me shedding my paint-soaked clothes on the dropcloth and frantically chasing my dog around the apartment in my skivvies. My brother-in-law finally corners the dog and hoses us both down outside (since my sister was laughing too hard to stand up lol ).

- Otter
\"Never send a ferret to do a weasel\'s work.\"

imagery that will be with me forever! lol

 

[Lurch]

Confession time

Speaking of dogs...

Some of you may have noticed I did not participate in the latest CMON contest.
Well, its not because I didn\'t want to let me assure you.
You see I had just completed my mini and was going to seal it when I accidentally dropped it onto the hard concrete floor in my basement utility room I use when the outside weather is not cooperating.
Luckily the figure came out in fine condition, the only issue was a slight chip on the red shield.
I took out my bottle of Blood red, dipped my paintbrush in and.....

fixed the spot.

\"great job! Now back to the sealer room\" I say as I stand back up only to trip over my Bassett Hound under my feet and drop my figure for a second time...

Upside down...

On my paint table...

In fact it was a perfect three-point drop....

right into the open container of Blood red paint. :flame:

I now have a half red figure somewhere across the room where I threw it against the wall.

 

[Grumbold Ironbrow]

Thanks to you all...

I just wanted to say thanks to you all!! I had a really crappy weekend and I really needed the several hearty laughs that this thread provided me....

Cheers All,
Grumb

 

[wyrmling_x]

Hehe no prob - we\'re here to share our embarrassing moments if it helps ease your own troubles.

 

[DennisMech]

let me see...

there was this time at a local \"painting and pizza night\" when one boy turned up looking sick. Over the course of it all, he just kept looking more ill and greener colored. eventualy he went to the bathroom and threw up and was soon taken home. It was then that his friend told me he was sick because of breathing in the fumes when he tried to spray prime his mini in the car on the way there!lollollol

and here\'s an example of my general clumsyness:

I was sitting at dinner, when my mum anounced that my sister and I shouldnt wedgie each other so much because our clothes were getting stretched. This made me laugh so hard that I choked on my food as I continued laughing, until I coughed it out into the salad. This made me laugh harder, when I slipped off my chair, and when i tried to get back up, I put my hand in my plate of food, upturning it onto the floor. So then I just sat there in the mess I made gasping with laughter at what had just happened.

good times