Tales from the Freak Bar..5

wiccanpony

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
Originally posted by lizcam
Today is truly a day of Independance for me. Not only is it the 4th of July but Mr C is moving out today! In honor of that I\'ve changed the clothes on my little sig girl and the drinks are on me ALL DAY! Happy Independance Day!:drunk:
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May I suggest a long soaking hot bubble bath, with lots of lit candles and rose petals tossed around, and a nice chilled glass of wine next to the bathtub
 
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Roger Bunting

New member
It\'s a brave new world for you then, Liz!

I hope now that\'s a sign Mr C. has accepted the situation and that he can move on and carve out a new life for himself. (Am I being too generous here?)
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
Originally posted by Roger Bunting
It\'s a brave new world for you then, Liz!

I hope now that\'s a sign Mr C. has accepted the situation and that he can move on and carve out a new life for himself. (Am I being too generous here?)
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One can hope Roger. He is making noise like he thinks he can just show up at any time an walk in the house because \"It\'s still half my house after all\". A landlord can\'t walk into a rental property. They have to make an appointment to get in. I\'m changing the locks. He\'ll learn. He\'s tenacous but he\'ll learn.
 
wiccanpony

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
lollollollollollollollol

Butt Dust?
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What, you ask, is \'Butt dust?\' Read on and you\'ll discover the joy in it!  These have to be original and genuine.  No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: \'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?\'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn\'t remember any more. Melanie said, \'If you don\'t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.\'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. \'I love you so much that when you die I\'m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.\'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she\'d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: \'How does it know it\'s me?\'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. \'Please don\'t give me this juice again,\' she said, \'It makes my teeth cough.\'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: \'How much do I cost?\'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: \'Why is he whispering in her mouth?\'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, \'I don\'t know what\'ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?\'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: \'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.\' Concerned, James asked: \'What happened to the flea?\'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, \'Why doesn\'t your skin fit your face?\'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... ...\'Dear Lord,\' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. \'Without you, we are but dust...\' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, \'Mom, what is butt dust?\'
 
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War Griffon

New member
I think one of the best I heard was years ago in one of the columns of the sun whereby a lady had taken her 4 year old daughter with her when she went to put flowers on her relations grave and and across the way was an old lady putting flowers on a grave the 4 year old turned to to her mum and in a loud voice said \"Look mummy that lady is putting flowers on her own grave\" :D
 
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Roger Bunting

New member
I braved the town centre and the hordes today. It rained at the wrong time, though, just when I had to walk the furthest part of the journey.

I went on a very important errand.
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
See now Roger, I want to know what the errond was because of the way you put that. Makes that curious as a cat part of me just itch to know. Shame on you for that! :twisted:
 
wiccanpony

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
:wow: I want to know why this never became popular?????


http://www.sabledrake.com/2003/0308_nd_preview.shtml
 
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