Tales from the Freak Bar

G

Grumb

used to be a Freak
Sits down on the lounger with Donna;

here Donna, you can have some of my cookies...as you can see from my expanding waste line, I really don\'t need them all.... ;)

I am more than ready for this week to be over. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off work.... :yes:
 
T

Torn blue sky

New member
HOLD THE BUS!!!
I step out for a sec and I got a big tab, and some swines trying to deck me out with tinsel!!!??
Well ok I\'ll let the drinks slide, free bar go nuts! :beer:
But the tinsel and bells is a dark area!
Santa is an anagram of Satan! :evil:
 
wiccanpony

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
:p that\'s what happens when you pass out in this Bar with your credit card in hand lol

a TBS santa : lollollol

 
 
 
deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend,
BiLLy

 
Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You\'re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write?  I\'m giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

 

 
Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!

Love,
Sarah

 
Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn\'t they?

Santa

 


Dear Santa,

I don\'t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I\'d like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,
Teddy

 

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad\'s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he\'s gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It\'s time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?

Santa

 

 
Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love,
Francis

 
Dear Francis,

Who names their kid \"Francis\" nowadays? I bet you\'re gay.

Santa

 

 
Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love,
Susan

 

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.

Santa

 

 

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend,
Thomas

 

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.

Santa

P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.

 

 

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we\'re sleeping, do you really know when we\'re awake, like in the song?

Love,
Jessica

 

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I\'m skipping your house.

Santa

 

 
Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?

Timmy

 

Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn\'t work with me. You\'re getting an ugly sweater again.

Santa

 

 

Dearest Santa,

We don\'t have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love,
Marky

 

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself \"Marky\", that\'s why you\'re getting your ass kicked at school Second, you don\'t live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,  
Santa 
 
S

spazzy

New member
Aaah, Donna, that\'s some funny shit. But I\'m not exactly a fecking ray of Christmas sunshine right now, anyway. lol. Fecking Grinch...hubby got laid off Tuesday, it\'s only temporary, and he could be back to work next week, but it could be next month, too, so I\'m just a real delight to be around right now.

Bubba, your post reminded me of an email I got once, basically it said that the definition of \"politically correct\" was the mistaken impression of liberals that you can pick up a turd by the clean end. Not being sensitive myself, if somebody wished me a happy kwanza, I\'d take it as a well intended wish for a good holiday season. How hard is that?
 
Dragonsreach

Dragonsreach

Super Moderator
Staff member
Not being a \"Festive person\" at this time of year I appreciated Bubba\'s \"Non-specific\" warm wishes.

I think I must be suffering from one of two things either \"Seasonal Affliction Disorder\"
Or
Just being a right Grumpy Old B*st*d.
(Please remember to choose wisely):D :twisted:

Finding bits of cheap tinsel and fake snow covering PC motherboards gets really irritating after the 5th time.

Anyhow pour me a strong one this is going to be a long winter.
 
T

Torn blue sky

New member
Damn streight Donna! And don\'t any of you forget it either!
If I had to hazard a guess at the right answer DR I\'d say Grumpy old B*s*a*d.
...But I\'d say that anyway lol
At least this way I get away with it.
I\'m in it for the Cute chicks in the office dressing up and the Booze! Lets not cross any wires here :beer:
 
H

Highbulp Billy

New member
Originally posted by wiccanpony
deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend,
BiLLy

 
Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You\'re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write?  I\'m giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa
Click to expand...
Hey, I thought these letters were supposed to remain secret. And I reall wanted that SpaCe Ranjur too :cry::cry::cry:
 
T

Torn blue sky

New member
Well it was an hour eh?
You shoud SEE the stuff he\'s got on there! THEN tell me who\'s the \"Naughty Boy\"... :|~
This venture needs erasing from memory, Bubba pour a double of JD..Then hand me the bottle :drunk:
Aw c\'mon its friday!!!! And Im in hidious mental anguish, Creative use of tinsel though...
 
F

finn17

New member
Originally posted by Bubba
\"HAPPY HOLIDAYS\"
Click to expand...

That is so appropriate I have quite unashamedly \'nicked it\'. It\'s too late now but I think I will have it printed on my Christmas cards next year:D
 
S

supervike

Super Moderator
Originally posted by finn17
Originally posted by Bubba
\"HAPPY HOLIDAYS\"
Click to expand...

That is so appropriate I have quite unashamedly \'nicked it\'. It\'s too late now but I think I will have it printed on my Christmas cards next year:D
Click to expand...

I just saw that on the Finnbass site...i was wondering if you nicked it or if there were just more versions....
 
F

finn17

New member
I think I have seen/heard it in several places.......

I just liked Bubba\'s version the best. I\'ll happily remove it if I am infringing IP however..:D
 
S

supervike

Super Moderator
I believe he got it in a \'mass email\' type doohicky...so I doubt there is an issue.



Whats with this bar?

Didn\'t I order a Strawberry Milk and a PB&J sandwich some time ago?
 
M

matty1001

New member
Tis JAM not jelly, silly American with your silly words. Do you no why we have HERBS and you have ERBS? Because it has a H in it! ;)
 
M

matty1001

New member
The H\'s are there just very subtle, is it true American\'s spell through, thru, because i agree with that, through is just trying to cheat at scrabble!
 
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