We\'re all Assholes!

[EricJ]

OHH, funny story about being an asshole coming back to haunt you.

In high school, my best friends father goes in to get a vasectomy, gets into a fight with a guy in the parking lot going in, which comes to blows, although no one was really hurt it was not pretty. Well it turns out that was his surgion scheduled to perform the opperation...

 

[supervike]

Originally posted by EricJ
OHH, funny story about being an asshole coming back to haunt you.

In high school, my best friends father goes in to get a vasectomy, gets into a fight with a guy in the parking lot going in, which comes to blows, although no one was really hurt it was not pretty. Well it turns out that was his surgion scheduled to perform the opperation...

I certainly hope he apologized beforehand!!

 

[EricJ]

apparently there are ways to do this opperation that are barely more than a minor pain, and then there are other ways (short of mal-practice) that leave your crotch in searing pain for days...it turns out

 

[Ritual]

When I did my compulsory military service there was a really thick headed guy in our group. Once me and two others were sitting talking about how dumb this guy was and all the moronic things he had done, when all of a sudden he came and sat down right next to us. Somehow all three of us was thinking exactly the same way that it would be very suspicious if we changed the subject or stopped talking so we continued talking and hoped he didn\'t understand it was him we talked about. He even laughed at some of the stories we told... I don\'t think he understood and no harm was really done, but I felt like an asshole...

 

[cdukino]

Well an absolute asshole bully at highschool kinda thought it was fun to definatly make me know he thought I was stupid and ugly... and passed little chances to let it know especially when friends of his were around too.
Years later at a reunion, he didn\'t instantly reconise me (I had changed a lot) hit on me... reconised me and asked me out (in a not so bright way... once an ass still an ass it seemed)... my sister and me burned him absolutely to the ground with just a few words right in front of his friends (who choose me and my sister\'s side too... unexpected but fun)... man revenge is sweet I don\'t think he had a good reunion. Well atleast he was the talk of the day among friends
And no I don\'t feel like an asshole for that... would have done it again if I had the chance without a seconds thought

 

[Modderrhu]

Back in my days of misogyny...

A decent and sweet young girl had a crush on me, and I led her on, and on, and on, with one single nefarious intention. The day came when she wanted to have a serious talk, and I remember how \'good\' it felt when I said, \"My love... [pause long enough to let those words do their magic] you\'re not worth the effort\".

I didn\'t at the time, but ten years later I still feel like a right arsehole for doing that.

 

[Drake Farstrider]

One day I was driving down a side street, when I see this kid standing on the side of the road taking a piss. He seems to be completly oblivious to the fact that I am driving by. So I hammer my horn, as I pass by, it completly scares the shit out of him and he pisses all over himself and his dog. I had a good laugh at the time, later felt like an asshole.

 

[Modderrhu]

I\'d only feel guilty about making him piss all over his poor doggy.

 

[Ogrebane]

Some of these things sound like thing me and my mates get up to on a Saturday nite (not asshole just good clean fun)

So heres a few of my gems.

When I joined the RAAF as an Apprentice they gave out ranks to the Appies. Anyway one of the CPL Appies charged me and I spent a weekend on base and my girlfriend ended up dumping me and going out with someone else.

So we were doing bush training and were told never to shoot the blanks at someones face as they could still kill or at least blind someone.

We did the team thing and I was on the other team to this Guy and I spent 3 hours sneaking up on him till I was close enough to put the muzzle of the gun to the back of his head. I called out his name and pulled the trigger, lucky he was quick enough to duck he only ended up with a hole in his hat and a scar on his head. I also tampered with his breaks and loosened the spokes on his front wheel of his motor cycle. Needless to say he had a crash and broke his leg.

Luckily I have matured since then. (I have some more stories but would like to still have people talk to me on this forum)

 

[Drake Farstrider]

Originally posted by Modderrhu
I\'d only feel guilty about making him piss all over his poor doggy.

Yeah, as i think about it, thats what makes me fell slightly like an ass.

 

[Evil Dave]

I got home from boot camp buffed out and went to the bar with some friends, when lo and behold my high school Civics teacher walks in (She was perhaps 24, pretty hot) the woman who had failed me even though I had some stuff going on in my family, even though she knew I knew the subject.
The night went on we\'re all drunk she asks me if I want to come to her place, of course being a 19 year old male, I did.
After the deed she asked how it was.
\"If you\'d have put a little more effort in it I\'d have given you a \"D\" but you didn\'t so you fail.\" I said and walked out.

Another time, right after I got out of the Navy, and was in top physical condition, I ran into the girl I had been chasing almost half my life, you guys know what I\'m talking about, the one you drool over, the one you\'d do anything for, the one who won\'t even give you the time of day.

Anyways she walks up to me and says, \"Hey, Dave.\"
So I act like I can\'t remember her name, which I can, but damned if I\'m going to let her know it.
We talk for a little while and she asks me if we can go out some time.
I look her straight in the eye.
\"Sorry, I\'ll be washing my hair.\"
Just for the record, I\'ve been shaving my head since graduating.

What can I say I hold grudges, but I can honestly say that after chasing the girl for eight years, she would definately not meet up to the fantasy and would have been a total let down.

 

[Modderrhu]

My previous tale qualified me for being a cunning linguist, this one just an arsehole.

Bored out of my skull, and being irritated that I didn\'t have the permissions I needed when I was studying computer science, I wrote a little programme for the mainframe to crunch. For those who are familiar with C under UNIX;
for(;; ) fork();

For days, the mainframe was unusable while it did almost nothing except use every processor cycle to create yet another process. Rebooting a mainframe can be a daunting task...

 

[vincegamer]

Okay, I have wracked my brain and finally come up with an assholey thing I did. I thought it was funny at the time.
I convinced a girl that I was dying of throat cancer.
(really I had been camping and slept on the ground and got poison oak on my neck)

 

[No Such Agency]

We\'re all terrible, terrible people.

- I drunkenly told a racist joke near a black person at a party. And thought it was funny. I\'m sure it was a wonderful introduction to freshman year for her. This I consider my most shameful moment... the height of asshole-ry.

- I knew a band my friend really likes was playing here, and I didn\'t tell him because I hate them and I knew he would want me to go with him (ok, not so terrible I guess)

- I told my roommate she looked like Shelley Duvall...

 

[No Such Agency]

Originally posted by vincegamer
Okay, I have wracked my brain and finally come up with an assholey thing I did. I thought it was funny at the time.
I convinced a girl that I was dying of throat cancer.
(really I had been camping and slept on the ground and got poison oak on my neck)

But... what we really want to know is did it get you laid?

 

[Temporary Sanity]

Man, this thread is kinda depressing... I realize that I\'ve been an asshole for most of my life, give or take a few minutes

One thing I still feel really bad about happened when I was in 8th grade (14 years ago). There was a chubby kid that was neighbors with my friend. We wanted him to stop hanging out with us, so we devised a plan to get rid of him.
We told him that I\'d lost my d20\'s in the grass outside the city library (in the back), and when he went out there to \"help us look\" I jumped him and beat him up.

If there\'s one thing I could take back, that\'d be it.

 

[Tony Manero]

asshole?... well my worst was...

my ex-ex girlfriend left me for another guy in my university... i went his home later in the night and i smashed 3 woodchop axes i had in my garden in the bonnet of his car after crashing the glasses...

asshole but full of vengeance at the moment :flame:

 

[Naukhel]

I\'m just a regular joe.. with a regular job...

Hoo, boy, have I got a lot of tales for this.

High School...
For fun and entertainment, myself and three friends would regularly go to the mall that was located behind our school, pick a random car, and carry it to the other end of the parking lot (we were all big, strong types), and then watch while the owners searched for their car, sometimes for hours.

-

Assholish from the perspective of the victim, only:

Some of you may recall from another thread that I once coached little league baseball. I am a proponent of good sportsmanship and was trying to teach these values to \'My Boys\'. The other coaches, sadly, were more interested in winning than anything else.
So, one day, the other team\'s usual field chatter started going way outside the bounds of things that should be said on the field... at a volume where even the spectators were starting to look uncomfortable. One particularly personal attack pushed me over the edge, completely. It was against the smallest member of my team, Kyle, who was 12, but only looked 8, and was made by the oldest, biggest kid in the league.
I called \'Time\', stalked onto the field, and laced into the kid with a verbal onslaught that made him cry, his mother cry, and the other team\'s coach cry. When the umpire tried to stop my tirade, I rounded on him, and gave him such an earful that I got thrown from the game, but I left to a standing ovation from the entire crowd of parents that were watching.
And, it should be noted, game chatter never got personal again, when my team was on the field.
And that umpire wouldn\'t do my team\'s games anymore. I think I scared him.

 

[Dragon Forge Design]

In college, my room mate and his friend use to drink my booze when I went home for the weekends.. so one time I left a 3/4 full bottle of Southern Comfort that was part urine

When I came home the empty bottle was there and he was laughing about how they drank my booze again.. I smiled and laughed and said \"Damn, I guess Ill never learn\" They never had a clue..

 

[Naukhel]

Ok... Ew.