We\'re all Assholes!

[Temporary Sanity]

Originally posted by Dragon Forge Design
In college, my room mate and his friend use to drink my booze when I went home for the weekends.. so one time I left a 3/4 full bottle of Southern Comfort that was part urine

When I came home the empty bottle was there and he was laughing about how they drank my booze again.. I smiled and laughed and said \"Damn, I guess Ill never learn\" They never had a clue..

Awesome! hahaha

 

[Sand Rat]

Hmm -

1. The first time I was in college, I worked night security, and my neighbor in the dorm kept waking me up on Fridays with Tiffany. So I turned the speakers from my room mates stereo against the wall (Marshall 20 inch speakers) put the Scorpions in and walked out the door.

2. The second time I was in college, there was this 21 year old that thought I really wanted to sleep with her. When I told her that I didn\'t, her face collapsed and she didn\'t speak to me for 2 months.

3. After my divorce, my now ex wife came over to do taxes for the previous year, and I told her I had been in a much better place for the last month or so. When she asked why, I told her because I hadnt had to deal with her b***ch ass any more.

4. I\'m a Civilian Contractor - Need I say More?

lol

 

[EricJ]

Originally posted by steelcult

3. After my divorce, my now ex wife came over to do taxes for the previous year, and I told her I had been in a much better place for the last month or so. When she asked why, I told her because I hadnt had to deal with her b***ch ass any more.

haha, how does the joke go...

It\'s better to have loved and lost...

Than to have to live with that bitch for the rest of my life

 

[laurence]

Assholy thing to do!

There was this kid in my neighbourhood called Leigh who would bully the shite out of his little cousin every time he and his Mum visited their house. I was perhaps 11-12 y.o. and this really disturbed me. I remember Leigh swinging the couch around on purpose to knock his little cousin to the ground and that sort of thing. I was scared he\'d kill the little d00d.

Anyway, one day I was at another kid in the neighbourhoods house when Leigh came over to play. Well he was in for a surprise!

I asked him to close his eyes, bend over and pull his pants down (as you do) and then I unrolled a scouts belt and smacked him on the ass with it. The metal belt buckle with the \'Be Prepared\' motto on it was the part of the belt that made contact with his ass. Poor d00d.

I kinda regret doing that. But it was probably learned behavior. So I guess I can blame my Dad for making me think of punishing p00r ol\' Leigh in that way.

His ass recovered.

 

[MarkusTay]

There are many reasons why I have come to be in this place in my life. I mean emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

I have done things that sometimes leave me awake all night crying. That was many MANY years ago, when I was a total jerk.

I\'m not talking about the usual flip someone off or calling some girl ugly at a party... I\'ve done those kind of things a plenty. No... it\'s the things I did that indirectly shattered lives that I have to live with. Since becoming a born again Christian, I have saved at least two lives, both children. One was a new born infant, the other an eight year old girl who had drowned and stopped breathing. With both of those miracles and the many charitable things I try to do each day I still think I owe God big time. Sometimes I think I could stop a war and it wouldn\'t even out the score and make up for the asshole I was from 18-23 years old.

 

[wiccanpony]

ah..I have one and that\'s all I\'m going to say about it:innocent:

 

[Trevor]

Most of these are rather tame. I\'m not telling you my serious arsehole moment, but lets just say it involved alcohol. Actually thinking about it, pretty much all my asshole moments involve alcohol...

 

[EPStudios]

ummm... ***hole things I\'ve done... not... much... I\'ve only really been called an asshole once in my entire life. Not including my sister. She\'s just a b*tch. Anyways, back to the story.

I\'ve been a total wuss around girls my entire life... Came on very strong, lubby dubby sort of stuff. I had completely fallen for a girl my first year of college, and never was capable of getting her... (because I was a wuss)... Anyways... I had been getting frustrated that I couldn\'t have her and started up with some rather hateful journaling, that I never intended on showing her. Regardless, for some reason I decided to show her one day. I\'m not really sure why... I just did... It was a BAD idea... Things did not go so well after that.

Moral of the story. Never show people journaling that they were not meant to see when the actual journaling took place. If people were meant to know what other people were thinking we would have been born with the ability to read minds.

 

[MarkusTay]

Originally posted by Trevor
Most of these are rather tame. I\'m not telling you my serious arsehole moment, but lets just say it involved alcohol. Actually thinking about it, pretty much all my asshole moments involve alcohol...

Wow... I wasn\'t even thinking about my alcohal-induced asshole moments (Aiam?)... now I really feel bad.... stealing AND totalling my mom\'s brand new car... that guys motorcycle.... that guys girlfriend... that parked car.... my bosses NEW truck...

Now I\'m REALLY convinced I\'m going straight to HELL.

 

[AinuLainour]

Wow! You guys make me look like a saint!

 

[EricJ]

Originally posted by AinuLainour
Wow! You guys make me look like a saint!

I have a feeling most people are holding back

However, thinking about this thread and what Markus said, I actually think it\'s really interesting and promising how many people acknowledge their responsibility in their past actions, and have grown because of them to be better people...well, at least some of the people

 

[Legacy Account]

Originally posted by airhead

Originally posted by Spacemunkie
Hahaha!! Quality! I keep a rounders bat under the passenger seat just in case....

Well it is quite rough round here!

Don\'t bring a club to my gunfight.

We\'re backwards (or forwards, depending on your outlook...) over here. We\'re still bludgeoning each other with blunt instruments. Mostly.lol

 

[Sand Rat]

Originally posted by EricJ

Originally posted by AinuLainour
Wow! You guys make me look like a saint!

I have a feeling most people are holding back

However, thinking about this thread and what Markus said, I actually think it\'s really interesting and promising how many people acknowledge their responsibility in their past actions, and have grown because of them to be better people...well, at least some of the people

Nope - still an asshole here!

 

[Valander]

I have a really awesome asshole story.
















But I\'m not going to tell you.























Because I\'m that much of an asshole.

 

[Infidel Castro]

Originally posted by EricJ

Originally posted by reverend
I\'m an arsehole 27.3% of the time

That\'s it?!

Aye, in fact it\'s probably far less than that. In real life I\'m generally a very nice person. If I ever get accused of being arsehole in future by forum denizens, I may well refer them back to this beautiful thread and show them who the REAL arseholes are lol

 

[Ritual]

Originally posted by EricJ
I have a feeling most people are holding back

Actually, I really had a hard time finding any severe asshole moments in my past. I remember a few from when I was a small kid, but somehow I don\'t think those are that important. All kids are assholes sometimes, it\'s part of growing up and learning to interact with other people.

I guess I\'m simply a very nice guy! I blame my parents...

 

[Infidel Castro]

You\'re like the brother I never had! Good guys rock

 

[Drake Farstrider]

Originally posted by Valander
I have a really awesome asshole story.
















But I\'m not going to tell you.























Because I\'m that much of an asshole.

Asshole! lol

:bouncy::flip::bouncy:

 

[Tony Manero]

the piss-in-the-booze story reminds me of Dumb e Dumber lollollol

 

[ManillaRoad]

Phew... King Assholyness here.

I did some pretty bad stuff in my teens.

One thing that springs to mind which was pretty vile:

We were with this group of metalheads always hanging out and doing pranks and shit and totally into the \"satanic evil\" image, haha.
So we phoned up some other guy who was a bit of a cissy metaller who was always preaching jesus to us and who had just lost his friend in a caraccident.
We called his house and his mom picked up and we said we were (guy\'s dead friend\'s name) and demanded to speak to him. The mother must have been really stupid because she didin\'t seem to notice and said the guy was not home yet. So we said we\'d call back later. We did a couple of times and started verbally abusing and threatening the mother because \"she lied to us and he should be home by now\". Anyways, when we finally got the guy on the phone we said in a very sinister voice \"This is me -friends name- , you will join me in the afterlife soon, soon you will die, muwhahaha\".
They guy started crying.

We thought it incedibly funny and \"evil\" thing to do and we phoned him a couple of more times and also some of his other wimpy friends. We became very notorious in the local metal scene for that and we thrived on those stories, making up even more wild and absurd stories about ourselves doing satanic rituals in the castle ruins that are in the neighbouring town and stuff like that.

A friend of mine who was still going to the same highschool as the scared guy got invited by the police and told to stop this but no real charges or consequences ever came out of it.

We became milder in the years to pass.

Recent asshole moment:
I was ordering a pint of bitter in a bar and the girl was really grumpy couldn\'t even say \"thanks\" or \"there you go\" even when I tipped her 20% on every of the 3 rounds we already ordered (which is pretty much for the UK). Now the company I work for has pretty big business with this hotel, there are always people from our company in their hotel.
So next round I order a few pints and she still acts like a total tart. So I tip my pint of bitter all over her dress (right in between her boobs), \"oops sorry\".
She sure as hell didn\'t become friendlier but I didn\'t tip anymore either and gave a very negative feedback on the satisfaction-survey when I left the hotel.
The manager called me last monday to inquire and also inform me that the girl was fired because not only he had a lot of complaints about her but she didn\'t put the tips in the staff tip bank but kept them herself and also drank alcohol from the bar when on service.
Good riddance.