It was judge only. Actually got the judge the wifie wanted, at least the \'type\' (old, white, male).
I really don\'t have all that much to \'put behind me\' as I\'m a bit of a \'live for the moment\' type and don\'t dwell much. The wifie on the other hand was affected a lot and is still recovering, emotionally she\'s more the victim than I am and thats what makes it hardest on me (weird I suppose). I had always made her feel \'safe\' (I\'m the big, tough, protector type) and they have taken part of that away, of course it\'s a bit unrealistic to preceive anyone as invulnerable but her dad ditched out when she was a kid so never had a male figure like that so (in a non-sicko way) I guess I sorta fill that roll.
Luckily my kids are two young to remember, I\'m a big beliver that children should see their dad as the toughest guy in the world. The only person in the world I was ever afraid of died 5 years ago (my dad), even when he was sick and bedridden I wouldn\'t have wanted to go against him... It\'s a perception thing rather than a reality thing.