JesterzUSMC
Recovering Megalomaniac
HAH!
Funny one!lol
Funny one!lol
Tales from the Freak Bar 8 (trevor blew the old one up)
- Thread starter uberdark
- Start date
- Status
airhead
Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him: \"How would you like it if you didn\'t see me for two or three days?\"
To which he replied: \"That would be fine with me.\"
Monday went by and he didn\'t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him: \"How would you like it if you didn\'t see me for two or three days?\"
To which he replied: \"That would be fine with me.\"
Monday went by and he didn\'t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Roger Bunting
New member
Well, my plane tickets are booked to go and see Liz in October. :flip::bouncy::flip:
mattsterbenz
New member
A friend of mine sent me this youtube link today. It truly belongs here in the freak bar. Watch for yourself!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9J65j2GNzw
-Matt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9J65j2GNzw
-Matt
Roger Bunting
New member
I\'m going direct to L.A. The journey would be long enough without a stop.
airhead
Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
Had a bad day. Someone stole my gas cap (or I left if off the last time I filled up.)
:flame:
So I go to the parts store and tell him I need a new gas cap for my 1985 Yugo.
The guy flips through parts manuals and looks at his computer, then flips through more parts manuals, then call someone on the phone, then gets in his computer again.
Finally, he looks at me and says \"Yea, that\'ll be about an even trade.\"
:flame:
So I go to the parts store and tell him I need a new gas cap for my 1985 Yugo.
The guy flips through parts manuals and looks at his computer, then flips through more parts manuals, then call someone on the phone, then gets in his computer again.
Finally, he looks at me and says \"Yea, that\'ll be about an even trade.\"
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
you don\'t have a locking gas cap?
and no one stole any gas did they
and no one stole any gas did they
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
lol:bouncy:
Arizona Crazy Law
> > -------------------------
> >
> > 1. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
> >
> > 2. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask
> is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the
> Wild West.
> >
> > 3. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting
> down a cactus.
> >
> > 4. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you
> may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the
> other person possesses.
> >
> > 5. Hunting camels is prohibited.
> >
> > 6. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
> >
> > 7. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of
> water.
> >
> > 8. Cars may not be driven in reverse.
> >
> > 9. Cards may not be played in the street with a Native
> American.
> >
> > 10. If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you
> will be fined.
> >
> > 11. No more than six girls may live in any house.
> >
> > 12. It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet
> of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur
> license.
> >
> > 13. A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap
> must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
> >
> > 14. An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
> >
> > 15. No one is permitted to ride their horse up the
> stairs of the county court house.
> >
> > 16. Women may not wear pants.
> >
> > 17. It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18
> to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
>
Arizona Crazy Law
> > -------------------------
> >
> > 1. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
> >
> > 2. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask
> is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the
> Wild West.
> >
> > 3. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting
> down a cactus.
> >
> > 4. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you
> may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the
> other person possesses.
> >
> > 5. Hunting camels is prohibited.
> >
> > 6. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
> >
> > 7. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of
> water.
> >
> > 8. Cars may not be driven in reverse.
> >
> > 9. Cards may not be played in the street with a Native
> American.
> >
> > 10. If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you
> will be fined.
> >
> > 11. No more than six girls may live in any house.
> >
> > 12. It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet
> of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur
> license.
> >
> > 13. A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap
> must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
> >
> > 14. An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
> >
> > 15. No one is permitted to ride their horse up the
> stairs of the county court house.
> >
> > 16. Women may not wear pants.
> >
> > 17. It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18
> to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
>
mattsterbenz
New member
Some of those laws do make sense to me, especially #2 (only the saguaro cactus and a couple others that are considered endangered) and #7 (considering the heat out here it\'s perfectly acceptable)
Can I ask where you got that list? Some funny ones on there. I like the one about not being able to play cards with an Indian in the streets... lol
-Matt
Can I ask where you got that list? Some funny ones on there. I like the one about not being able to play cards with an Indian in the streets... lol
-Matt
Torn blue sky
New member
\"> > 16. Women may not wear pants.\"
MOTION PASSED!
MOTION PASSED!
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
MOTION DENIED!
Roger Bunting
New member
Hoorah! Finally back after replacing the graphics card that went kaput. Bubba, a fruit smoothy please.
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
they did have a in-plane bathroom I hope
:drool:- Status
