We\'re all Assholes!

[EricJ]

So the other thread got me thinking about times I\'ve gone over the top being an asshole...which got me curious...So what is everyone elses worst, where they pushed the limits and crossed the line to their #1 asshole moment?

No holding back

I\'ll tell you mine later, since I\'m rather asshamed of myself!

 

[cdukino]

Usually I\'m very polite in traffic... some say to much even. But one time I really had a b**h behind me (yep a female for once). The kind that when you don\'t pull up the 100th of a second after the light goes up starts honking and doing all kinds of rude signs, as she did. After nearly hitting my bumper... shouting at me and learning me some new sign-language for the Gilles de la tourette deaf... she somehow ended behind me in a street which was just wide enough for 2 cars side by side.

I had let her stop for the red light after me slowing down enough to just make orange myself. For retaliation.. didn\'t work as she was on my tail signalling again very soon.

So we ended up further in that narrow street.. I rode just a tad to far to the middle to make it impossible for her to pass... but without getting her suspicious... I just seemed a slow sloppy rider.. you know the old lady like one.

Then I pulled to the side more deliberatly giving her just enough way to pass... she pushed the pedal to the metal, zoomed by me way way to hard for the speedlimit there... and speeded right past the hidden speedcamera I knew was there... FLITS.... Must have been a nice ticket

Not nice of me... but she cought me on a bad day. And I kinda think she had it comming.

Don\'t think this is the worst i\'ve ever done but the first thing that springs to mind

 

[No Such Agency]

Mine is so bad I can\'t even begin to hint at it. All I can say is that no people or animals were physically harmed...

 

[Evil Dave]

I was in a bar when this chick walked up to me.
\"Hey, Dave.\" She said.
\"Uh, Hey.\" Said I.
\"You don\'t remember my name do you\" She asked.
\"Uh, not really.\" Said I.
\"I can\'t believe you don\'t remember me.\"
\"Did I have sex with you and/or will I have sex with you?\" I replied.
\"Uh, no.\"
\"Then I don\'t need to remember your God Damn name.\"

She was pissed.
I don\'t know why.

 

[Legacy Account]

Driving turns me into a complete arsehole. I suffer from incredibly bad road rage. It will seriously injure me one day I reckon - probably in a punch up!

Oh, and a kid pissed himself at school once \'cos I wouldn\'t let him go to the loo. I felt really bad about that one.lol

 

[Temporary Sanity]

I have to play nice most of the time, mainly for work.

I don\'t know which story is worse...

My best friend was dating a drama queen years ago. The b***h was just plain crazy. One of those unstable 19yr olds, y\'know? Anyway, he was too nice to break up with her. So one night we were havin\' a party, and she started being a b***h again. I ripped her a new one, she was bawling, and she left, never to return. He thanked me.

Another (and probably the winner) story. In traffic, driving my \'67 Ford Galaxie 500. Hot summer day, all windows down (it\'s a hard top), commuting home. Some jackass in a station wagon pulls up next to me all pissed off cuz I apparently cut him off like a mile back. Ok whatever. So I tell him to fsck off, and he throws his latte at me. My car is my baby, so I pulled the keys out of the ignition, walked back to my trunk, opened it up, got out my tire iron and shattered his 2nd row passenger window and his rear cargo passenger side window. That was a pretty asshole thing to do, I know, and I probably over-reacted. But he got fscking latte all over the interior of my car. He\'s lucky I didn\'t use that tire iron on his skull.

 

[Legacy Account]

Hahaha!! Quality! I keep a rounders bat under the passenger seat just in case....

Well it is quite rough round here!

 

[Infidel Castro]

I\'m an arsehole 27.3% of the time, but my best moment was taking up an offer by a member of my staff to step out and have a fight a long time ago (clashes in work ethic, me a grafter, him an arty-type). I said \'no probs\' and went outside with him and stood there smiling at him till he kind of shrank and slinked back inside. I think that was an arsehole moment anyway. It was hilarious for me but not for him lol Still good mates afterwards though - learnt a lot in fact. I later tailored work to suit his outlook and he was brilliant.

Oh, and on self-assessment of character, I\'ve been a bit of an arsehole around here the last day or two. Sorry Mick and sorry anyone else I\'ve been a tit to.

 

[Temporary Sanity]

I used to keep my Glock under the console of my truck. One day, I almost used it. Now it\'s in my nightstand drawer. I\'ve got pretty bad road rage, too...

 

[airhead]

Fun assholes:
1. Handcuffing an upper-classman to a radiator so he would miss a date he had been bragging about.

2. Wrapping a friend\'s car in cling wrap ( but left the sun roof open) Filled the car full of shredded styrofoam (bean bag refills)

Not so fun ones:
3. Shot a neighbor\'s car at 3:00 am after the alarm had gone off every 10 minutes since at least 9:00 that night. Seems the wind was blowing enough to rock it and set off the alarm. And he was out of town. Finally found the siren.

 

[james sequeira]

the independant wargaming store i work in has magic on saturday mornings.i would like to state i have nothing against magic.
the kids who play it though they do my nut in.they know the name of every card and what it does and the full back ground history of 40k and warhammer
if i ruin any more minis from the fustration theres going to be harsh things said

 

[EricJ]

Originally posted by reverend
I\'m an arsehole 27.3% of the time

That\'s it?!

I have some fun ones like:

Taking a 2lbs sack of fine ground white flour, and a fan, and sitting at the door to someones bedroom who pissed off everyone in the dorms and blowing it in until everything was nicely covered. (maybe not original, but way fun)


And some real asshole ones like (most of my big asshole ones reflect my inability to do well in relationships with women):

Girlfriend goes on a several month long trip to Australia, I date other people and don\'t tell her, act like everything is fine until she\'s back, (and very excited to see me again), then tell her and break up. THEN agree to start over and get back together long enough to sleep with her...and break up agian...none of it done all that nicely

 

[dauber22]

Originally posted by EricJ
We\'re all assholes!
So the other thread got me thinking about times I\'ve gone over the top being an asshole...which got me curious...So what is everyone elses worst, where they pushed the limits and crossed the line to their #1 asshole moment?

As I posted in Mosch\'s thread, I was past president and cofounder of Amalgamated Professional Assholes based precisely on this concept. \"We\'re ALL assholes. If I\'m going to be an asshole I might as well be good at it; I might as well be professional!\"

Mainly because of this, I have WAY too many episodes to be able to choose one :duh::]

 

[Evil Dave]

I was playing a game of Magic a few years back when the epitome of Gamer Funk walked in and wanted to play.

He was rude obnoxious, smelly, and a braggart.
When he pulled ou his deck, he said. \" I paid around $500 for this deck.\"
I looked at him and said \" Damn, if you\'d have showered and saved that money you might have been able to get a prostitute and get laid, since it\'s obvious you\'ll never get a girlfriend for free..\"
He left.
The table rejoiced.

Whats evven worse is that a few weeks later I went to the shop and had some female friends* with me, and he started hitting on one of them, she just looked at him and said \"Go away geek, or I\'ll get my boyfriend over there to stomp your ass.\"
To which he replied. \"I\'m not scared of your boyfriend, baby.\"
Unbeknownst to him I had snuck up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder and said,\"You should be.\" He ran like a little girl.


*two girls I was simultaneously open dating, it was a very weird, yet fun situation.

 

[cdukino]

Hmm Eric.... Guess I wouldn\'t have been as nice as your (ex-)girlfriend. I probably would have told you to stuff it somewhere not to nice when if you\'d asked to get together again... Probably would have send you a pot of vasaline/lotion and a ugly fat old lady nudy mag instead to get my message across too, probably with a do-it-yourself-note to go with it.

Well atleast you told her, getting back again was her mistake for a bit too.

 

[Mosch]

Hm. The funniest asshole action I can recall at the moment would be when a friend and me disabled the incredibly simple control program thingy our teacher used in computer class. We were now free to do whatever we wanted, which includes going into MS-DOS mode and changing the prompt into an error message which was laden with so many technical terms that he had no idea what it was actually saying and thought it was genuine.
We created quite some work, considering they reinstalled everything on all PCs after wiping them clean for fear of virii

Oh, here are two more just came to my mind.
A little boy kept pissing me off and constantly got on my nerves until on morning I ran into him just when school started, placed my hand on his shoulder and talked to him. The minute he notices me, he jumps into the air, turns around and speeds off like a rocket. Problem: His pullover was a pretty cheap one and actually tore right through the middle.
He sat through school with his upper body completely naked. He never got on my nerves again after that.

One time, I broke a kid\'s knee. Or, to be precise, aided him in breaking his own knee.
That little shit was constantly running into me on purpose and I didn\'t really care for that at all. He thought he\'d be such a hero in front of his friends if he picked on someone nearly 10 years older than him and got away with it.
He did, until I was fed up, waited until he was running and stepped aside at the last moment. He got a free physics lesson (today: Our friend, gravitation force) and landed full speed on his knee. Broke right through.

 

[airhead]

Originally posted by Spacemunkie
Hahaha!! Quality! I keep a rounders bat under the passenger seat just in case....

Well it is quite rough round here!

Don\'t bring a club to my gunfight.

 

[supervike]

Everytime I\'ve been an ass in public, it ends up somehow coming back to me...

For instance, at our kids t-ball tournaments, some idiot parks like two inches from the back hatch of my car (I had a jeep cherokee back then) So I can\'t even get the hatch open to store the gloves away before we leave. It just so happens that as we were leaving, this guy comes up too.

So I say, \"Did you park so close to my car?\"

And the old fellas smart ass reply, \"well, it sure looks that way doesn\'t it\"

So I lose my temper (which is very rare) and lay into him with a string of profanities that I am even embarrased to recall, then we drive away.

A month later, we take a private tourbus trip to Chicago for the weekend to catch a baseball game. We were friends with the organizer. Guess who gets on the bus? Turns out he this guy was the FATHER of the organizer...

Theres probably a lesson in there.

 

[dauber22]

Originally posted by supervike
A month later, we take a private tourbus trip to Chicago for the weekend to catch a baseball game. We were friends with the organizer. Guess who gets on the bus? Turns out he this guy was the FATHER of the organizer...

Theres probably a lesson in there.

Yes! If you\'d shot the rat b@$tard, he\'d have been dead and you\'d\'ve been in prison so there\'d\'ve been NO CHANCE of you meeting on that bus tour :flip:

 

[vincegamer]

Once in first grade I called someone a poopy-head.:innocent: