Rigged4Mini
New member
It\'s going to take me a little bit to get hard because I just got laid by a chicken.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
- Thread starter Rigged4Mini
- Start date
Shawn R. L.
New member
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb??....well, two of course, but the real question is, how did they get IN the light bulb in the first place.
squig hunter
New member
Lol replace flies with slaneshi cultists. That one got me banned from the GW forums.
Squig
Squig
freakinacage
Well-known member
how many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? one - he just stands there with his haand up and waits for the world to revolve around him!
whats the difference between an orthopaedic surgeon and god? god doesn\'t think he is and othopaedic surgeon
can you tell i work for the nhs?
whats the difference between an orthopaedic surgeon and god? god doesn\'t think he is and othopaedic surgeon
can you tell i work for the nhs?
philologus
Subgenius
What kind of patients do surgeons like best?
Lawyers: They have no brains, no heart, no guts, and their head and arse are interchangeable.
Lawyers: They have no brains, no heart, no guts, and their head and arse are interchangeable.
AinuLainour
New member
lol Bravo!
darthfoley
Active member
What did the Zen master say to the hotdog vendor?
One, with everything.
One, with everything.
philologus
Subgenius
The Masochist says \"Hit me\".
The Sadist says \"No\".
Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Fish
The Sadist says \"No\".
Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Fish
Ebonbuddha
Active member
A guy walks into a bar with a dog. He tells the bartender;
\"I bet you a pitcher of beer that my dog can talk.\"
The bartender accepts the bet.
The man looks at the dog, \"How does sandpaper feel.\"
The dog says \"Wruff.\"
\"What is on top of a house?\"
The dog replies, \"Wroof.\"
\"Who was the greatest baseball player in history? \"
The dog replies, \"Wruth\"
The bartendeer has had enough and he kicks the guy and his dog out of the bar. As the dog and the man are walking down the street, the dog turns to hi and says, \"Maybe I should have said DiMaggio.\"
\"I bet you a pitcher of beer that my dog can talk.\"
The bartender accepts the bet.
The man looks at the dog, \"How does sandpaper feel.\"
The dog says \"Wruff.\"
\"What is on top of a house?\"
The dog replies, \"Wroof.\"
\"Who was the greatest baseball player in history? \"
The dog replies, \"Wruth\"
The bartendeer has had enough and he kicks the guy and his dog out of the bar. As the dog and the man are walking down the street, the dog turns to hi and says, \"Maybe I should have said DiMaggio.\"
Shawn R. L.
New member
A clown, a brick layer and Al Gore come into a bar. The bartender looks up and says \"what is this, some kind of joke\"?
freakinacage
Well-known member
went to see the doctor today - it seems that all those years of phone sex have caught up with me - i have hearing aids!
Einion
New member
Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but it takes a long time and the lightbulb has to really want to change.
Q. How many Irish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Sure it\'s okay, I like sitting in the dark (in put-upon tone).
Q. How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two; one to phone the electrician and the other to mix the martinis.
Q. Why does New Jersey have more toxic-waste dumps than lawyers?
A. They got first choice.
A. Only one, but it takes a long time and the lightbulb has to really want to change.
Q. How many Irish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Sure it\'s okay, I like sitting in the dark (in put-upon tone).
Q. How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two; one to phone the electrician and the other to mix the martinis.
Q. Why does New Jersey have more toxic-waste dumps than lawyers?
A. They got first choice.
Shawn R. L.
New member
These two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says \"This guy tastes kinda funny\".
So the Ark came to rest on Mt. Ararat, and Noah bid the animals to go forth and multiply. Two snakes lingered, and Noah asked them, \"Why have you not gone forth and multiplied?\" The snakes answered \"Behold, we are Adders and can not multiply.\"
So Noah bade his sons to build a great platform of fallen trees, and after much work they completed the platform. Then Noah said to the Adders, \"Behold, a table of logs with which you can multiple by adding.\"
(Yeah, I know. Pretty geeky.)
So Noah bade his sons to build a great platform of fallen trees, and after much work they completed the platform. Then Noah said to the Adders, \"Behold, a table of logs with which you can multiple by adding.\"
(Yeah, I know. Pretty geeky.)
Shawn R. L.
New member
Got to the airport LATE, ran to try to catch my flight but, wow, those planes are REAL fast!
Ebonbuddha
Active member
A ship carrying a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer sinks in the ocean. Soon a great white comes and devours the preist and the doctor and swims away. Why didn\'t he eat the lawyer?
Professional courtsy.
Thanks you, thank you. I will be here all week. Try the veal.
Professional courtsy.
Thanks you, thank you. I will be here all week. Try the veal.
paydmydues
New member
The true definition of a smart-ass :
Someone who can sit on ice cream and tell you what flavor it is.
Someone who can sit on ice cream and tell you what flavor it is.
