wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
I read this story and Uber came to mind http://www.contracostatimes.com/sports/ci_12924528?nclick_check=1
Tales from the Freak Bar 8 (trevor blew the old one up)
- Thread starter uberdark
- Start date
- Status
I read this story and Uber came to mind http://www.contracostatimes.com/sports/ci_12924528?nclick_check=1
Roger Bunting
New member
Quiet in here lately...
airhead
Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
here\'s and oldie but a goodie just to stir up the dust:
BOUDREAUX GOES TO COURT In Louisiana , this fella, Boudreaux, had a bad vehicle accident, caused by an 18-wheeler that ran a stop sign.
In court, the trucking company\'s fancy lawyer wasquestioning Boudreaux: Didn\'t you say, at the scene of the accident, \"I\'mfine\"? the lawyer asked.
Boudreaux responded, \"Let me told you what happened. Me, I had jus loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into da .
\"I didn\'t ask for any details,\"thelawyer interrupted.
\"Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, \"I\'m fine!\"?
Boudreaux said, \"I had jus got Bessie into da trailer and I wasdrivingdown da road . . \"
The lawyer interrupted again and said,\"Judge, Iam trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of theaccident, this man told the StatePoliceman on the scene that he was justfine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.Please tell him to answer thequestion.\"
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Boudreaux\'s answer and said to the lawyer, \"I\'d like to hear what hehas to say about his favorite mule, Bessie..\"
Boudreaux thanked the Judge and proceeded, \"I had just loadedBessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and was driving her down da highwaywhen dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked mytruck right in da side. Me, I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into da udder.. I was hurting, real bad and didn\'t want to moveat tall. But, I could herd ole Bessie moanin and groanin. Me, I knewshe was in some kind o\' terrible shape just by hergroans.
Shortly after da accident, a State Policeman, he came on da scene. Heherd Bessie moanin\' and groanin\' so, him, he went over ta her. Afterhe took hisself a look at her, he took out his gun and shot her between daeyes. Den da Patrolman came cross d a road, gun in hand, and looked atme, and said \'How are you feeling?\'\"
\"Now what da hell would you say?!\"
BOUDREAUX GOES TO COURT In Louisiana , this fella, Boudreaux, had a bad vehicle accident, caused by an 18-wheeler that ran a stop sign.
In court, the trucking company\'s fancy lawyer wasquestioning Boudreaux: Didn\'t you say, at the scene of the accident, \"I\'mfine\"? the lawyer asked.
Boudreaux responded, \"Let me told you what happened. Me, I had jus loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into da .
\"I didn\'t ask for any details,\"thelawyer interrupted.
\"Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, \"I\'m fine!\"?
Boudreaux said, \"I had jus got Bessie into da trailer and I wasdrivingdown da road . . \"
The lawyer interrupted again and said,\"Judge, Iam trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of theaccident, this man told the StatePoliceman on the scene that he was justfine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.Please tell him to answer thequestion.\"
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Boudreaux\'s answer and said to the lawyer, \"I\'d like to hear what hehas to say about his favorite mule, Bessie..\"
Boudreaux thanked the Judge and proceeded, \"I had just loadedBessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and was driving her down da highwaywhen dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked mytruck right in da side. Me, I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into da udder.. I was hurting, real bad and didn\'t want to moveat tall. But, I could herd ole Bessie moanin and groanin. Me, I knewshe was in some kind o\' terrible shape just by hergroans.
Shortly after da accident, a State Policeman, he came on da scene. Heherd Bessie moanin\' and groanin\' so, him, he went over ta her. Afterhe took hisself a look at her, he took out his gun and shot her between daeyes. Den da Patrolman came cross d a road, gun in hand, and looked atme, and said \'How are you feeling?\'\"
\"Now what da hell would you say?!\"
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
Bubba! ......... a hot mug of cocoa please, where the flipping \"F\" did my summer go ..where is my warmth ....... where are my lazy hazy days ....... where are my mop boys I\'ve been robbed I tell you Robbed!!!!!!!:cussing:
mattsterbenz
New member
It\'s been in the 100\'s here for too long. You can have some of our heat! (Though I\'m sure Steelcult will gladly donate some warm weather as well)
-Matt
-Matt
War Griffon
New member
Bloody part time travellers...
Try the travelling time I have to get where I am 36 hours plus depending on whether AMC are living up to their name or not and I don\'t get recovery time when I get to this end its straight back into the job despite flying cattle class and having no sleep.
airhead
Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
Games For When We Are Older...
1. Sag, you\'re It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy...
lol
1. Sag, you\'re It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy...
lol
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
??? I really think I’m turning into a lizard .. I’m not happy and out of pain unless it’s hitting at least the 90s anymore .... must check between my toes for scales.
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
> -------------------------
>
> Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
> Bad: You can\'t find your birth control pills.
> Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.
>
> Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
> Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
> Ugly: You\'re in them.
>
> Good: Your husband understands fashion.
> Bad: He\'s a cross-dresser.
> Ugly: He looks better than you.
>
> Good: Your son\'s finally maturing.
> Bad: He\'s involved with the woman next door.
> Ugly: So are you.
>
> Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
> Bad: She keeps interrupting.
> Ugly: With corrections.
>
> Good: Your wife\'s not talking to you.
> Bad: She wants a divorce.
> Ugly: She\'s a lawyer.
>
> Good: The postman\'s early.
> Bad: He\'s wearing fatigues
> and carrying an AK47.
> Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
>
> Good: Your daughter got a new job.
> Bad: As a hooker.
> Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
> Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.
>
> Good: Your son is dating someone new.
> Bad: It\'s another man.
> Ugly: He\'s you\'re best friend.
>
> Good: Your wife is pregnant.
> Bad: It\'s triplets.
> Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.
>
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
> -------------------------
>
> Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
> Bad: You can\'t find your birth control pills.
> Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.
>
> Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
> Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
> Ugly: You\'re in them.
>
> Good: Your husband understands fashion.
> Bad: He\'s a cross-dresser.
> Ugly: He looks better than you.
>
> Good: Your son\'s finally maturing.
> Bad: He\'s involved with the woman next door.
> Ugly: So are you.
>
> Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
> Bad: She keeps interrupting.
> Ugly: With corrections.
>
> Good: Your wife\'s not talking to you.
> Bad: She wants a divorce.
> Ugly: She\'s a lawyer.
>
> Good: The postman\'s early.
> Bad: He\'s wearing fatigues
> and carrying an AK47.
> Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
>
> Good: Your daughter got a new job.
> Bad: As a hooker.
> Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
> Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.
>
> Good: Your son is dating someone new.
> Bad: It\'s another man.
> Ugly: He\'s you\'re best friend.
>
> Good: Your wife is pregnant.
> Bad: It\'s triplets.
> Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.
>
lizcam
New member
<walks in and looks around>
Right! Time to check the state of the Freakbar. Do we have any virgins left? Who\'s been minding the cheerleaders? This place is a wreck! Who\'s the current mop boy anyway? I think I need to have a private word with him/her. Standards just aren\'t what they were!
Bubba! Bubba? Where the hell is Bubba?!? O god. I knew life was going to pot but no Bubba?!? <sob> I\'ll be in the basement. Someone see if the can find me a cider please? And something to eat too. And maybe a male playmate? Or better yet, find me Roger and have him strip and bring me the food and cider please.
No Bubba! :no: The world is slipping off it\'s axis. :no: god help us all
Right! Time to check the state of the Freakbar. Do we have any virgins left? Who\'s been minding the cheerleaders? This place is a wreck! Who\'s the current mop boy anyway? I think I need to have a private word with him/her. Standards just aren\'t what they were!
Bubba! Bubba? Where the hell is Bubba?!? O god. I knew life was going to pot but no Bubba?!? <sob> I\'ll be in the basement. Someone see if the can find me a cider please? And something to eat too. And maybe a male playmate? Or better yet, find me Roger and have him strip and bring me the food and cider please.
No Bubba! :no: The world is slipping off it\'s axis. :no: god help us all
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
yes you’re right the Bar needs a cleaning and airing out!O.K. rolling up sleeves, don’t know who is the current Mop Boy, so I declare an emergency ... any warm body coming in who is under 1000 post I draft as temp mop boys.
Steelcult your bomb skills are needed, I’d like a few new hole for french doors and picture windows.
Ubie and the sherpas to the kitchen
Anyone with military proficiency to the men’s room a troop of zombie orcs have taking over, remove them by all means necessary.
Squig Hunter ... the Bar squigs need culling, besure to get the blue one ...... keeps trying to pee on my shoes
UnDave and Mud Duck, I want you to find replacements for the virgins ... the old get bumped up to cheerleader rank and you might as well get Vikey a new set of 72 with large hooters.
my my, I’m tired ..climbs up on barstool ........ Bubba! a fruity drink please
now what to do with 6 tons of rancid yak butter ???
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
:beer: I’m getting my second wind ......... so many thing to do, so few people to “make” do them ...... I think we have some soft cushy chairs in the CD lounge if Roger needs a nap
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
feel free to laugh ... we Pagans can take it lollollolhttp://www.angelfire.com/wy/wyrd/NeoPaganGuide.html
Question:How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
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Into what?
lollollollollollollol
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Into what?
lollollollollollollol
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
:beer: Welcome Occultist to The Freak Bar ........ now here is a mop and bucket time to get to work
lol
lol
- Status
