There\'s a joke inside this thread with a naughty word in it...

Infidel Castro

Infidel Castro

New member
And here it is:

skinny little bloke gets six months for not paying his poll tax
screw shows him to his cell once inside this great big bloke climbs down from his pit & says to the skinny fella WHAT YOU IN FOR skinny says 6 months 4 not paying me poll tax what you in for big man MURDER he replies

big man says you know in here we have mummys & daddies what do you want to be
skinny thinks Flip that he\'ll spilt me in half so he says in his deepest voice
I\'LL BE DADDY the big man says that\'s alright now come over here & suck mummys cock

..................

I couldn\'t stop laughing when I read it lol
 
Infidel Castro

Infidel Castro

New member
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I can\'t pronounce my F\'s or my T\'s!

Doc: Well, you can\'t say fairer than that then.


Hoho!

What\'s black and runny?

Linford Christie!

Hoho!
 
M

MarkusTay

New member
A priest goes out fishing with a buddy when he reels in a huge fish. His friend says \"that\'s a big sonuvabitch!\". The priest looked aghast, but his friend quickly lied and told him that was actually the name of the fish. The priest was happy, and brought it back to the church and gave it to the head nun. When she was amazed by it\'s size, the priest proudly professed \"It\'s a big sonuvabitch!\". The nun was scandalized, but the father explained that it was the name of the fish. The nun was relieved, and told the priest she was going to cook it for the special dinner in honor of the Pope that very night. After his holiness finished his meal that evening, he complimented his hosts on the delicious fish. The priest said \"I caught the Sonuvabitch!\" The nun said \"I cooked the sonuvabitch!\' The Pope looked at them for a moment, then smiled and said \"Hey, you f@ckers are alright!\"
 
Shawn R. L.

Shawn R. L.

New member
Prostitute comes up to a guy and says: \'for 50$ I\'ll do ANYTHING\'. Well, the fellow smiles, hand\'s her a 50 and says: \'go paint my house\'.lollol
 
B

Bobinator

Member
A new CO arrives at one of the camps in Iraq, and on his first inspection tour he\'s show around by one of the sergeants, during the inspection the CO notices a camel tied up out side the mess tent \"Sergeant, what the blazes is that camel doing there?\"
\"Well sir, its the boys you see, sometimes they get urges, you know sir\"
\"I see Sergeant, very good, carry on\"
anyways, a week or so passes and the sergeant happens to be walking by the officers tent and see\'s him on a ladder humping the daylights out of the camel \"Is this the way the lads do it Sergeant?\"
\"Err, no sir, normally they ride it into town where the women are\"
 
D

Dedwrekka

New member
A plane flys into a mountain side, why?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!


A monkey falls out of a tree, why?
Because it was dead!
 
H

Hoblit

New member
Two Cows standing in a field outside London.

Cow 1. \"I\'m really worried about this mad cow disease. Aren\'t you?\"
Cow 2. \"Nope. I\'m a squirrel.\"
 
J

Joey joe joe

New member
kinda sexist, but anyway....
A plane is about to crash. One of the women on the plane suddenly stands us and yells
\"i don\'t want to die a virgin! I want someone to make me feel like a woman!\"
S0, out of the back row comes this 6-foot-6 guy, rippling with muscles . As he walks towards the woman, he unbuttons his shirt.
\"Here,\" he says \"iron this.\"
 
Infidel Castro

Infidel Castro

New member
That Harold Shipman was a hell of a boxer. He had a lethal jab...

Bad taste...

They\'re making a film about Harold Shipman in Hollywood supposedly. They\'ve approached Robert de Niro to play the part of Shipman. They\'re calling the film The Old Dear Hunter.

[size=-1]They get worse...[/size]
 
S

Swordwind

New member
A British General and an American General are arguing about whos troops are braver.

The American says \"you Limeys dont know the meaning of the word bravery! Private climb to the top of that watch tower and throw yourself off!\"
The Private says\"Yes sir!\" and climbs up the ladder, walks to the edge of the tower and throws himself off. He hits the ground with a sickening thudd. He salutes with his broken arm and then faints.
The British General says \"Oh yes, quite good I suppose. Sergeant! Climb that tower and throw yourself off the side!\"
The Sergeant says \"Bollocks to that sir!\"
\"Now thats bravery\" says the British General.
 
airhead

airhead

Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
Why don\'t pygmy\'s go into the jungle between 3 & 4 in the afternoon?

That\'s when the elephants come down out of their nests.

Know what that black stuff between an elephant\'s toes is?

Pygmys that went into the jungle between 3 & 4.
 
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